Dwarf Fortress Adventure!!

by GrandTheft Sun Jun 13, 2010 12:58 am

The Adventure of Kai Pimpbottem as the name the game gave him
I Will update this now and again

After waking in the tin queen tavern i found myself in need of cash so i went downstairs to be greeted by a crazy wanting me to kill a cyclops called nubblenubs. I Accepted because he said he would pay me 100 coin he also mentions last that it killed 28 people and burned 5 houses.........great................fuck.

I Head to the local weapons shop and buy a whip made of steel and some rope. Off to the cave on the way 3 packs of wolves decide to fuck my shit up but i set fire to them......all then ate the pups......
In the cave i came across a few goblins who at first were nice and kind and told me where to find the cyclops, Then i slaughterd them all one by one.
I Picked up one of there corpses and some sand then the screen says CYCLOPS AWAKE.........fuck there goes my surpise attack

He runs 2 squares quicker than me i decide to throw the goblins corpse at it........failed.......i throw sand at it.....failed i throw underware at it........WIN i blinded the cyclops long enough for me to strangle it with my rope....but i remeber i had a whip so i hit it on all 4 limbs and on the spine.
This made the creature helpless so i put it in my backpack (Yes apparently backpacks are big enough for live cyclops) took it back and then cooked it alive in the town.

Everyone had a party i got payed more got hammerd then some faggot goblins stole my money.......Im going to kill everyone.