Homestuck RPG!

[18:52] <Dorian> [GAME START]
[18:56] <Dorian> It is the day of your seventeenth birthday, and you awake in your room at a customary time (about 1 in the afternoon). The sun shines in on your room, blinding you somewhat.
[18:56] <Dorian> Your computer is chugging away in the corner, torrenting the newest shitty game because screw paying for anything not decent.
[18:58] <Kite> Getting up Leon checks over himself to make sure everything is alright on him. Satisfied that he's good for now he goes to his computer to see how much time is left until his download is complete.
[18:59] <Dorian> The download time is saying "Five weeks, three hours" but last time you checked it, it said eighteen years, so it's probably wrong. PesterChum, your IM system of preference, is blinking at you.
[19:01] <Kite> Clicking over on his IM system he checks to see if he has any new messages.
[19:02] <Dorian> Someone has been trolling you.
[19:02] <Dorian> -- discoMatador [DM] began trolling noelTheGreat [NTG] at [09:55] --
[19:03] <Dorian> [DM] DuDe, you there?
[19:03] <Dorian> [DM] happy birthday
[19:03] <Dorian> [DM] heeellllooooooooo?#
[19:03] <Dorian> [DM] soD it, i'll wait.
[19:03] <Kite> Rolling his eyes he begins to type back.
[19:04] <Kite> [NTG] I'm here stop whining.
[19:05] <Dorian> [DM] bloody hell, DuDe, where have you been?
[19:05] <Dorian> [DM] never minD, you got it?
[19:06] <Kite> [NTG] Got what?
[19:06] <Dorian> [DM] you know, the game!
[19:06] <Dorian> [DM] sburb!
[19:08] <Kite> [NTG] No not yet.
[19:10] <Dorian> [DM] soDDing hell, man! what are you doing!? look, just check the little reD arm Dealie on your mail box!
[19:10] <Dorian> [DM] is it up?
[19:11] <Kite> [NTG] Hold on a second.
[19:11] <Kite> With that Leon goes to his mailbox to see what he was talking about.
[19:16] <Kite> In his mailbox Leon sees what he was talking about and clicks on it to see what happens.
[19:20] <Dorian> [DM] DuDe, are you checking your email-box? i meant the real thing.
[19:27] <Dorian> Your email opens, revealing no new emails.
[19:28] <Kite> Frowning Leon gets up and quickly gets dressed to go outside and check is mailbox.
[19:30] <Kite> Once dressed he walks across the yard and opens the box to see what's inside.
[19:30] <Dorian> As you go outside you see your dad stood by the post box collecting the mail. In his hand is an envolope with the Sburb logo on it.
[19:33] <Kite> "Hey dad." Leon says standing by him. "Mind handing me that envelope?" Leon says pointing to the one with the logo.
[19:34] <Dorian> Your dad turns around, "Hmm? Sure. Oh, happy birthday, son." He hands over the envelope.
[19:36] <Kite> Leon smiles as he takes the envelope. "Thanks." He says he goes back to his room.
[19:38] <Kite> [NTG] Okay I have it.
[19:38] <Kite> Leon types in as he gets back into his room.
[19:39] <Dorian> [DM] fuckan yes!
[19:40] <Dorian> [DM] instal it faggot!
[19:42] <Kite> Leon rolls his eyes again before opening his computer's disk drive and putting the game inside.
[19:42] <Dorian> As you open the envelope, two discs fall out. One is marked "Server" and the other is marked "Player"
[19:43] <Dorian> [DM] oh, anD one more thing: only install the player Disc. Doing otherwise will cause your computer to exploDe
[19:44] <Kite> Shrugging, Leo takes out the server disk he had already put in and places in the player disk instead.
[19:47] <Dorian> A graphic appears on the screen (see http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002037 for approximation)
[19:49] <Kite> Nodding his head slightly impressed, Leon clickes on the word sburb to see if anything happens.
[19:50] <Dorian> The computer switches to a black screen with a green spirograph on it. The word "Sburb" is imposed in the middle.
[19:51] <Dorian> PesterChum pops up.
[19:51] <Dorian> [DM] got your server, DuDe.
[19:51] <Dorian> [DM] senDing you a live feeD of the game now.
[19:51] <Kite> [NTG] Okay
[19:52] <Dorian> Your screen changes to a picture perfect image of your room with an interface imposed over it. (see page after one linked above)
[19:52] <Dorian> The controls are locked from your end.
[19:53] <Kite> [NTG] Well this is different...
[19:54] <Dorian> [DM] Don't worry, mate. installing the alchemiter in your room.
[19:55] <Kite> [NTG] Wait, what?
[19:56] <Dorian> The cursor on the screen moves on your screen to pick up your bed and takes it away, storing it in the Phernalia Register. It then takes the Alchemiter out of the aforementioned register, placing it where your bed was.
[19:57] <Dorian> [DM] sorry, we have next to no grist. i'll make your room bigger when we get some.
[19:59] <Kite> [NTG] Well this is plenty big enough for me.
[20:00] <Dorian> [DM] yeah, but we neeD some room for the totem lathe and the punch carD machine.
[20:02] <Kite> [NTG] whatever you say.
[20:03] <Dorian> [DM] soD it, we can afforD it. just.
[20:04] <Kite> [NTG] Just?
[20:04] <Dorian> The cursor drags an extra square from corner of your room, and releases. This makes your room expand to fill the room, not unlike building in the Sims.
[20:04] <Dorian> [DM] we now have no grist
[20:05] <Kite> [NTG] Well tell me how to get some then.
[20:06] <Dorian> [DM] you neeD to enter the meDium first.
[20:07] <Dorian> [DM] like how you're taking to this like it's nothing. i just reshapeD your entire house.
[20:08] <Dorian> It is only then you notice reality is mirroring the game.
[20:10] <Kite> Leon jumps a bit surprised before quickly sitting back dwn.
[20:10] <Kite> [NTG] How did you do that?!
[20:13] <Dorian> [DM] that's how sburb works, DuDe. still neeD to get you into the meDium. tell you what, let's make that new area your crafting area, yeah?
[20:13] <Kite> [NTG] Um sure.
[20:14] <Dorian> The Alchemiter is dragged over into the area and placed there. The Totem Lathe and the Crux Trudder are also placed there, although that leaves no room for the Punch Card Machine.
[20:15] <Dorian> [DM] i'll stick the punch Designx Down when you get into the meDium.
[20:15] <Kite> 'This has got to be the wierdest things that's ever happened to me... ever' He thinks to himself as the various things appear inn his room.
[20:16] <Dorian> [DM] you got a pDa?
[20:16] <Kite> [NTG] Ya?
[20:17] <Dorian> [DM] got pesterchum or some shit like it on it?
[20:18] <Kite> [NTG] No but I'll get it as soon as possible.
[20:19] <Dorian> [DM] well, it looks like your DaD is off somewhere. you'll have some time to sort this crap out.
[20:19] <Dorian> Outside, you hear the sounds of your dad driving off somewhere.
[20:21] <Kite> [NTG] It seems as if I do.
[20:22] <Dorian> [DM] ok, go Downstairs. he left you a note. yes, i can see this.
[20:22] <Dorian> [DM] i can look arounD your house with this thing. want me to cut the stream?
[20:23] <Kite> [NTG] That would be nice. You being able to see everything in my house is kind of wierd.
[20:23] <Dorian> [DM] oh, no, i just meant cut the stream on your enD
[20:23] <Dorian> [DM] the game for me is basically the sims but in your house
[20:24] <Kite> [NTG] Well that's kinda amusing.
[20:25] <Kite> With that Leon gets up to go see the letter his dad left him.
[20:29] <Dorian> As you get downstairs, you see a note taped to the back of the door. "Hey, son. Gone down the shops. Will be back in ten minutes. Dad."
[20:31] <Kite> "Always so short and precise." Leon says with a small laugh before going back upstairs to his computer.
[20:34] <Dorian> [DM] we gooD?
[20:35] <Kite> [NTG] We are good.
[20:37] <Dorian> [DM] sweet. finD something you'D like to be your guiDe in the game.
[20:37] <Dorian> [DM] only, and this is important, ONE thing
[20:39] <Kite> [NTG] So do I go into the medium and do this or do I just grab an object?
[20:40] <Dorian> [DM] just grab one for now.
[20:41] <Kite> Getting up and looking around his Leon looks for something that could work as a guide.
[20:42] <Kite> Part of him says to pick up one of the figures that came with a game he bought though he decides instead on a small plush toy given to him by his deceased mom.
[20:43] <Kite> [NTG] Will this do?
[20:43] <Dorian> [DM] shoulD Do.
[20:44] <Dorian> [DM] now, brace yourself. i. am going.
[20:45] <Dorian> [DM] to have to.
[20:45] <Dorian> [DM] USE YOUR TOILET AS A HAMMER.
[20:45] <Kite> [NTG] Wait what!?!?
[20:46] <Kite> Leon says dropping the small plush toy though he quickly picks it back up.
[20:48] <Dorian> [DM] look, just be reaDy.
[20:49] <Dorian> A loud crash can be heard from the bathroom, and the toilet floats over your head.
[20:49] <Kite> [NTG] ... Dude can you please replace my toilet?
[20:51] <Dorian> [DM] gimme a sec
[20:53] <Dorian> The toilet slams itself down on the Crux Trudder, taking the top off it and releasing a strange spirograph thingumy, as well as a nice blue cylindrical block. The spirograph flies around the room, chirping unintelligibly.
[20:54] <Dorian> The toilet then moves back to the bathroom, and presumably places itself back where it was.
[20:55] <Dorian> [DM] Done.
[20:55] <Kite> [NTG] Ya um thanks. Was that really needed?
[20:56] <Dorian> [DM] of course it was! it's releaseD your kernelsprite!
[20:57] <Dorian> [DM] throw your guiDe plushie thing into it.
[20:58] <Kite> Looking at the plush toy he throws the plushie at the wierd floating thing.
[20:59] <Dorian> The room flashes white, then fades back to being normal. The plushie is gone, and the sprite now looks like the plushie's head, only with a spirograph behind it.
[20:59] <Dorian> [DM] you now have a plushiesprite as your guiDe!
[21:01] <Dorian> You also notice that a count down has started on the Crux Trudder. Eight minutes remain.
[21:02] <Kite> [NTG] Um what is the countdown for?
[21:04] <Dorian> [DM] hmm? oh, if you haven't finisheD the transporter to the meDium by the time it gets to zero, you Die.
[21:04] <Dorian> [DM] which reminDs me, gimme a sec
[21:04] <Dorian> A card falls from the roof onto your bed.
[21:05] <Dorian> [DM] take that, stick it in the lathe, stick the Dowel in the lathe, press go, hit it into the alchemiter.
[21:05] <Kite> [NTG] Um, wait die?!
[21:06] <Dorian> [DM] yeah
[21:06] <Dorian> [DM] also your worlD enDs when it gets to zero
[21:06] <Kite> Leon quickly does what he says not doubting, with all the strange things happening, that something like that could happen.
[21:09] <Dorian> The lathe changes the shape of the dowel and the Alchemiter makes a single pear.
[21:09] <Dorian> A massive boom can be heard from outside.
[21:11] <Kite> Leon quickly goes to his window to look outside.
[21:13] <Dorian> The house across the road is now a flaming crater. PesterChum beeps at you.
[21:13] <Dorian> [DM] ok, DuDe, you neeD to finD a weapon
[21:14] <Dorian> [DM] like, now.
[21:14] <Kite> [NTG] What do you mean like now?! now of this makes sense!!!
[21:15] <Dorian> [DM] you neeD a weapon. the meDium can be a Dangerous place.
[21:16] <Dorian> [DM] oh, also, the worlD is being Destroyed by meteors.
[21:18] <Kite> Leon gets up from the computer and begins looking for a weapon. He settles for a kitchen knife from downstairs.
[21:19] <Dorian> A message plays through your mind: {YOU GOT THE Knifekind STRIFE SPECIBUS!}
[21:21] <Kite> 'What the...' Leon thinks as he tries to make sense of the message.
[21:22] <Dorian> You hear a few knocks from your room.
[21:23] <Kite> Leon goes back into his room cautiously to see what is making the sound.
[21:24] <Dorian> Your chair is being banged on the wall. As you enter the room, PesterChum beeps and the chair drops.
[21:24] <Dorian> [DM] DuDe, get out siDe anD eat that Damn pear!
[21:24] <Dorian> [DM] balcony, for preference
[21:25] <Dorian> You notice the Cruxtrudder only has thrity seconds left on it's timer.
[21:26] <Kite> Leon quickly does as he's told since his time is running short.
[21:27] <Dorian> As you go outside, you notice meteors are falling all around, destroying everything. One massive meteor is headed directly for you.
[21:27] <Dorian> As you take the first bite of the pear, the meteor hits.
[21:27] <Dorian> [GAME PAUSED]
[21:27] <Dorian> {}{{{END OF SESSION}}}{}

This was quite amusing

Also on the plushie doll: It is a small grey plush toy that has seen some wear and tear. It is soft in your hand though and has a comforting smell for Leon. It is in the shape of a small dragon but has two angel wings on the side. It only has one of its original eyes it being a boring black bead. However the other eye was sticthed on by Leon's mom and is big and blue and seems to watch you where ever you go.

The original owner of this doll was Leon's mom but since she died it fell into his ownership.

[20:37] <Dorian> Last time, you entered the Medium by the means of a giant fucking meteor. After, of course, getting armed and dealing with the profound weirdness of the game Sburb.
[20:38] <Dorian> This time, you awake to find yourself in a strange golden building on a strange golden moon of a strange golden planet
[20:41] <Kite> "Where is the silver?" Leon sighs as he looks around. "This game is wierd..."
[20:42] <Dorian> As you look around, you notice the distinct lack of a door on the room. All there is is a large window out of the whatever'th floor you're on. It's at least the eighteenth.
[20:44] <Kite> Leon sighs as he begins to pace around. "I am going to strangle someone when I see him again."
[20:48] <Dorian> You get the instinctive feeling that, were you to jump out of the window, you would probably fly. You also notice you are wearing odd golden pyjamas with a moon symbol on them instead of your normal clothes. When did that happen?
[20:49] <Kite> "I wonder if I got hit by that meteor?" Leon says to himself as he looks out the window. "Or maybe I'm in a coma..."
[20:49] <Kite> After a moment Leon shrugs before jumping out of the window to see what happens.
[20:50] <Dorian> As you jump out, you get the distinct feeling of supported weightlessness. And don't fall.
[20:51] <Kite> Leon looks around abit before trying to move forward once again to see what happens.
[20:53] <Dorian> You manage to fly forward at a decent speed, over the golden cityscape that is the moon. The mon in question is, for some reason, chained to the planet it is orbiting.
[20:55] <Kite> Leon begins to look around for anything else of note quite pleased with this sudden flight ability (because walking was over rated).
[20:58] <Dorian> There seems to be some white dots moving about the city. As you look a bit closer...
[20:58] <Dorian> You wake up in your house.
[20:59] <Dorian> The house has been moved on to a stormy planet, the wind of which gives off a strange melody.
[20:59] <Kite> "Man... wierd dream."
[21:02] <Dorian> As you glance around your house, you notice your Kernelsprite. It is now merely a Plushsprite, and is hovering over you.
[21:05] <Kite> "Heh." Leon says as he gets up to poke the sprite to see what it does.
[21:06] <Dorian> The Sprite quickly moves out of the way, not letting you touch it. It shakes it's head vehemetly, unable to speak due to it's lack of a mouth.
[21:08] <Kite> "Aw... come on... I knew I shouldn't have given it the plush doll..." He says with a groan. Now he was minus one favorite plush toy and still had no clue on what was happening. And to make it worse he couldn't even use the sprite for entertainment.
[21:09] <Dorian> A bing from your computer lets you know you have a new message from discoMatador
[21:10] <Kite> Leon goes over to his computer and sits down to see what was said.
[21:10] <Dorian> -- discoMatador [DM] began trolling noelTheGreat [NTG] at [12:25] --
[21:11] <Dorian> [DM]: welcome to the meDium, DuDe
[21:12] <Kite> [NTG] I want a refund. ):<
[21:12] <Dorian> [DM]: oh? why?
[21:12] <Kite> [NTG] Darn sprite took my plush toy. you didn't tell me it would stay gone inside the thing. T_T
[21:13] <Dorian> [DM]: yeah, i thought that was obvious
[21:13] <Dorian> [DM]: anyway, you neeD to prototype it again
[21:14] <Kite> [NTG] Let me guess, this time I should throw it my left leg. >.>
[21:14] <Dorian> [DM]: no, just anything with a mouth
[21:15] <Kite> [NTG] So it can talk? why not just through it my computer since I'm talking on this tablet? Then it could talk to us us on here to... actually that could be kind of funny.
[21:17] <Dorian> [DM] no!
[21:17] <Dorian> [DM] you neeD something with the client!
[21:17] <Dorian> [DM] although that woulD work
[21:17] <Kite> [NTG] Hm... maybe I should go get my dad's computer...
[21:18] <Dorian> [DM] shoulD work, seeing as how your DaD is probably DeaD by now
[21:18] <Dorian> [DM] oh shit i shoulDn't have saiD that
[21:18] <Kite> [NTG] ...
[21:19] <Dorian> [DM] look, he's DeaD but if you beat this game you can bring him back
[21:19] <Kite> [NTG] Fun...
[21:20] <Kite> [NTG] Okay then so now I'm doing all this wierd stuff... with something at stake... great... brb getting computer.
[21:20] <Dorian> [DM] inDeed
[21:20] <Dorian> [DM] FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
[21:20] <Kite> With that Leon walks to his dad's room motioning for the sprite to follow.
[21:20] <Kite> [NTG] What's wrong?
[21:21] <Dorian> -- discoMatador [DM] ceased trolling noelTheGreat [NTG] at [12:35] --
[21:22] <Kite> "Well then... that's comforting..." Leon says with a groan before checking to see if the sprite followed him to his dad's room.
[21:22] <Dorian> The sprite has followed you, seeming to know what is coming
[21:22] <Kite> "So do I like throw the computer at you or do you like just move to it?" Leon says to the sprite even though he knows it can't talk.
[21:25] <Kite> After a moment's thought he decides to moment the sprite to touch the computer since if he threw it and it missed he'd be a sad panda indeed.
[21:26] <Dorian> The sprite moves over and absorbs the computer, turning into a ghostlike computer plush thing.
[21:27] <Kite> "Awesome..." Leon says as he looks at the sprite.
[21:28] <Dorian> A cursor appears on the screen, Matrix-stlye, and types out "Indeed."
[21:30] <Kite> "I no longer have regrets with using the plush toy to prototype you any more..." He says so he can see how it responds.
[21:31] <Dorian> "This is good. Regrets will impeed your quest. I cannot allow this to happen."
[21:32] <Kite> "Man you sound all formal... what gender are you anyways? Or are you like all the voices of the interent put into one or something?" Leon asks the kernelsprite.
[21:33] <Dorian> "Due to the inherent nature of the prototyped objects, I have no gender. And the formality comes from the digital nature of the second object prototyped."
[21:34] <Dorian> "In addition, that last assumption is not too far from the truth, although I have chosen to block out some content in order to preserve sanity."
[21:35] <Kite> "Awe the interent is awesome." Leon says though inside he knows the spirite pick the right choice. "Well I do have a problem though. so can you pick a gender for me to refer to you as so I can give you a name? Because I'm already tired of calling you kernelsprite."
[21:36] <Dorian> "The term currently applied to this form would be 'Technosprite', seeing as I have been prototyped with a technological object. The name 'Tech' would be acceptable for short hand usage."
[21:37] <Kite> "Fine then Tech what should I do now?" He says to the technosprite.
[21:39] <Dorian> "Defend yourself."
[21:40] <Kite> "With a kitchen knife!?" Leon says exasperated. "Why didn't he tell me all of this stuff1?" Leon says with a groan.
[21:41] <Dorian> On cue, several strange imp-like beings that look disturbingly like the plush dragon show up around the door.
[21:41] <Dorian> Grinning, they move to attack you.
[21:41] <Dorian> __END OF SESSION__

[22:10] Last session ended with several imp-like beings that looked disturbingly like the plush dragon attacked you, and you were just about to fight them off.
[22:14] "This... was not expected..." Leon says looking at the imps. "What do I do?" He says looking at the Technosprite.
[22:15] "Fight. Or die."
[22:15] As you are looking away, the imps, all three of them, jump you.
[22:17] And miss horribly. They're not good at this.
[22:18] "Leon looks at the imps before trying to stab one of them with the kitchen knife he picked up.
[22:20] The knife hits, splattering the imp quickly and easily.
[22:21] The other two imps turn and attack again.
[22:24] You manage to dodge one imp, but the other hits, scratching you rather effectively. Your ear is no longer itchy.
[22:25] Leon smiles to himself though he says nothingg as he tries to slash another one of the imps.
[22:27] The next imp pops like a ripe berry, much as the other one did.
[22:27] The last remaining imp is suitably terrified by your combat prowess. Or sheer luck. Whichever sounds better.
[22:31] Leon looks at the last imp before raising his knife towards it.
[22:33] Seeing that the imp is not attacking Leon attacks, feeling only a little sympathy for the thing (in all fairness htough it tried to kill him first so it was fair game).
[22:35] The imp dies just as the others have, spectacularly. In other news, the corpses explode into a lot of strangely shaped things ready to pick up. Must be drops for this game.
[22:36] Leon looks at the items on the floor before he picks them up more to see what they are then from wanting them.
[22:37] As you pick them up, you get popups in the corner of your vision telling you you have collected "Grist", whatever that is.
[22:38] "Grists?" He says before turning to the dragon plushie machine... thing to see if it knows anything.
[22:41] "Grist is the building material used within the Medium. It can be used within the building of your house, as is the primary aim to gain access to the later gates, or it can be used within Alchemitizing, which is used for the creation of items for combat and other purposes."
[22:42] "So... it's like money?" Leon says simply.
[22:43] "It comes in a variety of different forms, and it seems as though the forms found on your planet are all related to the elements of Air and Life. For example, you have several units of Spore Grist, whilst also having a good few of the basic Build Grist. Also, yes, and you can think of the different varieties of Grist as different currencies."
[22:43] "However, the true currency of the Medium is Boondollars, which are used for various late game purposes."
[22:45] "Elements of life and air? Boondollars? Care to explain more?" Leon says to the sprite.
[22:46] "More shall become apparent as you continue to play through the game."
[22:47] "So... let's say I get past this part of the.... 'game'... will you tell me more than?"
[22:49] "That is correct."
[22:49] "Okay... then let's do this... first I'll probably need more grist... and did I get any new messages?"
[22:52] "No. It would be advisable to first create some form of portable computational device."
[22:52] "Well... can't you do that?" He says looking at the sprite slightly confused.
[22:53] "No. I cannot leave the house until you have progressed to a further part of the game."
[22:54] "Ah... well that is a problem then." Noel says before looking down at his Ipad. "And this thing will run out of power eventually... didn't you say there was a machine that let you build stuff or something?"
[22:58] "The Alchemiter, yes. You will require the ability to first convert items into Captchalogue cards, then punch them using the Punch Designex. Alphanumeric code overlaying, the codes being derived from the rear of the unpunched cards, will allow for the creation of new items using the Alchemiter."
[22:58] As Leon says this he begins to walk around looking for said machine though he has no clue what he is doing.
[23:01] "Okay... um... so basically let's just start with finding this cards..."
[23:10] "Wait... you said by Captchalogue cards... do you mean by that same storage like device my wallet uses... not that it holds much... but like that?"
[23:10] "Yes."
[23:16] "So if I take the cards from my wallet... I can use them to combine stuff?"
[23:20] "To an extent, and using the methods I described, yes."
[23:24] "Okay then... so let's go captchalogue things." Leon says before picking up one of his favorite books and placing it into his wallet. He then takes another kitchen knife and puts it in there as well.
[23:26] After that he grabs a few bandaids just in case and puts it into the wallet to before opening the wallet and showing them to the sprite.
[23:28] "That is good. You will now need to interact with the Punch Designex and these cards."
[23:29] Okay. Leon says as he runs towards the machine that his friend placed before. "So do I just like... put them in there?"
[23:31] "One card at a time. You will also need to overlay their captcha codes, found on the back of the cards, in a manner not dissimmilar from a Bitwise operator and input this into the machine."
[23:33] "Okay..." Leon says taking the card for the Begginers Book for Programming and the card with the Bandaids and overlaying them.
[23:38] [Game paused]