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DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II

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DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II Empty DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II

Post by Tzeentch Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:46 am

All he could hear were children's voices screaming and cheering all around him, Leon shook his head and got to his feet, he was still on the hill but one of the larger kids had taken the top spot, he looked towards one of his friends, Garth. They nodded to each other in comprehension, they charged the top of the hill taking down the bigger kid and retaking the top of the hill for themselves, when from behind another kid came and knocked Leon down winding him, all he could see was blue sky.

A figure bathed in golden light came to him, great white hair spilling over his shoulders "Get up" he commanded his voice deep and authoritative "This place is not what you think it is" he extends a golden gauntleted hand "you are of purpose to me" as Leon takes the hand the world begins to shift tendrils of brown and mottled green tear the sky as he reaches his feet he looks across to Garth, he is no longer the child of his memories but is now wearing the robes of a cleric wielding the blessed sword and sanctified shield. His friends are no longer the frivolous school kids they once were but now defenders of their homeland he sees the worried glances but back on his feet again reassures them. He searches for his weapons the ground beneath him turns from lush grass to churned up rocks and burnt soil, the smell of burning flesh fills his nostrils doubling over he nearly retches.

As someone cries out he turns in time to see one of the vile aliens leap past a gap in the defenders, the alien crashes into Garth, its front talons piercing straight though the thin chainmail top lower talons clawing for purchase against his shield the impact causes Garth to spin, the alien slides loose, its momentum working against it. As his life begins to fade he rams the sword in the ground and looks over to leon he mouths "the Emperor knows my name" before collapsing.

Werk in progress
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DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II Empty Re: DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II

Post by Great Unclean One Tue Dec 22, 2009 2:54 pm

Looks very good from a glance, will read properly later, very nice that it's actually formatted rather than just a massive block of text like some people scratch
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DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II Empty Re: DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II

Post by ChangerOfWays Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:48 am

I want to see this finish now, Im guessing that the world is being swarmed by nids?
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DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II Empty Re: DH; Leon, The Defender of Trésbièn II

Post by Great Unclean One Sat Jan 30, 2010 7:25 am

I've read it properly now, It looks good! I would indeed like to see more
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