Tinyhammer

So, playing Quake Wars on the xbox last night, as usual, when this rumbling sound started. Now, lights off, I just assumed there was a tank somewhere near me. So, after wondering how they'd got a tank into my sniping spot, I have a look around. Figure at least I can hurt it with grenades. However, spin around a bit, no tank. Fair enough, I think, and get back to sniping. Started ignoring the rumbling sound, figuring it was a glitch, or just the vibration of the console itself.

Then, out of nowhere, the xbox goes off. So yeah, I'm slightly pissed by this point. 20 minutes work, gone. Flick the lights on, see that my Rhino is next to my xbox, and the fan cover has come off. Not a clue why, but I was too tired to work it out then. So, I stand up and walk towards it, and look at it. So, all I see by this point is 4 of my Imperial guard stood around the gap. Oddly, none had bases, and I'm sure I hadn't posed them like that. Then, out of nowhere, there's a laser dot on my hand. Now, I shit myself, thinking I was going to be sniped by somebody out of the window. But no. The models are firing at me.The fucking models are alive! The guy who looked like their leader must have realised his weapons were crap, because he shouted "RUN!" and they all hopped in the Rhino. This techpriest jumped out of the xbox, and ran for it. But no, I grabbed him, leant to about a centimetre away from him, and said "What the FUCK do you think you're doing?". Little bastard, still clutching a bit of my cable, mutters something about tech-heresy. To which my response, naturally, is to say "I'll show you tech-heresy, and flick the little guy across the room. He landed on a cushion, so I think he lived. The guys in the Rhino start driving away, but I figured it's best to let them.

No, it gets worse. They get about halfway across the room before this bolt of energy knocks the whole Rhino over, sending them spilling out of the hatch. Then, in the space of about 10 seconds, one of my Raiders swoops by it and drops a bunch of Dark Eldar off. It flies away and does a loop, and by the time it's back, the Guard are each grabbed by 2 men, and bundled on board. The damn thing then flies up to my bedside table, and they jump off again. I'm stood in the middle of all this, just like "The fuck?", while they seem to ignore me. Then, my Jetbikes and other Raider come up, carrying the rest of the Dark Eldar. Except the Mandrakes. God knows where they've got to. I give up, and sit on the bed, waiting for an explanation.

One arrives in around 5 minutes, after the Archon, Dracite and a few others have a brief argument. Of course, I can't hear what was being said, but it ending with the Dracite punching a guy of his Jetbike, stealing it and flying up to me. She says "Very sorry for the confusion, just business. I'm sure you understand. But, we agreed last night that this was our side of the nation." Well, what could I say to that? I ended up just saying "Well, leave me and my stuff out of it. And anyway, this is all my room, so fight outside." The Dracite considers this for a second, then says "Please can we stay in here? The Knights are on the landing, and they'll kill us if we go there. I can make it worth your while..." So yeah, this 1" tall thing was offering her body in return for staying here. I told her no way, but they can stay if they don't let the Shadowsword hit me. Anything else probably won't hurt. "Wait," she said, "they have a Shadowsword? This is a problem, we'd better get some form of defence lined up. Why are you scared, anyway?" Well, it was simple enough. The Shadowsword was a titan killer. If it can take out a titan in a couple of shots, it can probably do some damage to me. Of course, I told her "Because it's huge, it could hurt. But, I'll protect you as best I can. After all, it's not like you have the units to combat them, is it?" She looked sad at this, but seemed happy that I'd offered to protect their species. "Now, there's plenty of lego in the corner, and I'll get you the stuff off the bulkhead. Make yourselves some form of castle."

Now, time to sort things out with the guard. When I got there, it looked like they were ready. They'd already used books and board game boxes to form a wall roughly a foot high, and they had about 20 men on the wall, waiting. They'd also found the Aegis defence line I'd bought, and had set the autocannon up for anti-aircraft. I had to say, I was impressed. The guys on the line saw me walk towards them, and fell silent, except for the one with the vox-caster, who began frantically talking into it. After about 30 seconds, I saw one of them, the Primaris Psyker, hover up to my eye level, to gasps of awe from the men. He said "Now, I don't know who you are, but I have an idea. The men think you're either a very well made titan, or possibly the God-Emperor himself. But I don't know, or even care. I know you were talking to the Dark Eldar scum, and I know you're an enemy to us. You have 20 minutes to leave our land." Arrogant little bastard. I grabbed him, trying to ignore the electric shocks he gave me. They felt like static. I put him in a deck box for Magic: The Gathering, and sealed it with a few elastic bands. Should give him time to cool off.



Like? Worth me continuing?

as long as it doesnt end with "and then i woke up" by all means continue

So, I realised the guard weren't worth talking to, and kicked down part of the wall, out of spite. This wasn't my best move ever. Instantly, about 50 of those little red dots appeared on my foot, and I realised what they were. They weren't laser sights. They were the damn lasguns themselves. No wonder guard infantry gets nowhere. Anyway, walking over to the landing, I began to get a slight headache. Not crippling, but noticeable. I was also hearing little cracks, and felt a popping sensation on my chest, so I thought I must have been going mad. But no, it was worse than that.

Grey Knights, Inquisitors, and a smegload of spess marines, all firing at me. Seems they disliked my intrusion, and possibly my theft of the psyker before. Turns out the headache was from the psycannon bolts I gave them, and they work on humans too. Still, it was annoying, so I turned went back to bed. I made it about halfway, before something swooped past my face. Now, it wasn't a Raider or Jetbike, I'd ordered all flights to be cleared with me first. No. Turns out the Elves had decided to join the party, and had sent a Dragon after me. I did what any intelligent being would have done. Grabbed the thing out of the air, and demanded they joined me. They didn't have much of a choice. Little bastard riding the dragon just squeaked "Yes, Asuryan. I will serve." So it turned out one group thought I was a demon or something, one group thought I was either a titan or their emperor, one thought I was their god, and the other didn't really care. All I could think was "I hope I buried those Chaos Warriors under enough bitz. Otherwise, this could end badly".

So, after discussing tactics with the Archon, I decided to go back to bed. I was asleep about 10 minutes before I heard a wooshing noise, and woke up. The Mandrakes, which I'd almost forgotten about, had liberated the Void Dragon Phoenix on the other side of the room, and were blasting plasma at nearly everything. The Shadowsword had emerged from it's "garage" - a lego hut just the right size, and was shelling the Dark Eldar castle they'd built. It was impressive, to say the least. The Grey Knights had decided to fight on no particular side, and were chopping guards, warriors and elves to pieces. There was also a lone Necron body in the middle, who seemed to be dragging himself away with his one remaining limb - his left arm. The elves and eldar had formed a neat alliance, using the Raiders to drop Phoenix Guard into the imperial lines. Their archers had turned to using fire arrows, lighting them with matches from one of the cupboards, and were burning just as much of my stuff as they were enemies.

So basically, my room was a war zone. I decided to let this one go, just go back for the survivors afterwards, but my parents demanded to know what was going on up there. So, I showed them what was going on through a webcam, and explained it'd all quiet down after another hour or so, but my mum got scared. She said, with one last glance at the warring minatures, "You're moving with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air."



Still good? Do you want a real ending? I ran out of creativity a bit there.

i want more destruction i also want to join in with the writing if thats ok?

That's really good!

Sure, add your own stories if you feel like it. Nobody raged at the ending?

No, i'm not! How come all the font is purple though? As in names and topics and stuff!

Ah, you'll see. You'll ALL see! Mwahahahahahaha! /insanity

no i mean, the ending is pretty shit, make moar, or let me carry it on?, sup to you,

I'll be making more, I promise. Just needed a way to pause it, I'll edit it out.

more would be good, do you still have that ork thing riding the horse with a dragons head?

I do, yes. Why? I'd completely forgotten about this, I can finish it at some point I guess.

well you've got all these models killing each other, why not bring in the mutant models?

True, that could work. I've also got my infinity stuff now as well, they're pretty cool.

Damnit when your back from holiday i will sit you infront of that computer of yours untill i have moar to read

i like this thred please write another chapter