Wizards gonna Wizard: the novel: the game

[22:58] <@Spiritcurse> As the kingdom's finest Fate Diviner, you have been summoned to the guard barracks for a briefing. Rumour has it that the armies of a hostile nation march on the borders, and only you hold any hope of stopping them. The barracks are open, and you see the immense form of the quartermaster standing in the doorway.
[23:02] <Kite> "Okay so um.... can we get this briefing going? I'm probably going to need as much time as possible to stop this threat."
[23:03] <@Spiritcurse> "Very well", the quartermaster booms. "You must seek the White Disc of Lightning, for it alone holds the power to stop their war engines. Or you could kill their commander, whatever works. Do you require any equipment?"
[23:05] <Kite> "I'd like a group of your men, wiether or not they are competent doesn't matter. I'd also liek another taco, because i'm still hungry."
[23:06] <@Spiritcurse> "Very well!" The man bellows what sounds to be swedish upstairs, and three men run down, each in chainmail armour and carrying a spear. "These are three of my most expendable men, use them wisely! And tacos are on the table, there".
[23:09] <@Spiritcurse> As you mutter your chant of cleverness at a soldier, they seem to gaze around confused. After walking in circles a few times, he salutes before falling to the floor, thankfully still awake and alive.
[23:10] <Kite> "Well that didn't work... okay plan B we go to intercept the path which the army is using to march towards us."
[23:10] <Kite> I motion for the men to follow though not before grabbign another taco.
[23:11] <@Spiritcurse> The men follow, chattering excitedly about their first real adventure with a powerful and mighty mage. The road to the border appears well used, and leads north from the village into a small forest.
[23:13] <@Spiritcurse> As you cast your spell, the trees rustle and you swear you can hear the word "probably" carried on the wind.
[23:14] <Kite> "Men we will keep going forward until we are right at their footsteps. There we will try to sneak behind the army and attack them from the rear... any questions?"
[23:14] <@Spiritcurse> "Do you have any tacos for us?" is the most useful question you are asked, but the men obediently follow you to the path.
[23:16] <Kite> "Should have gotten your own tacos" I say while eating my taco. In this line of work you must be smart, you have to think before you act and be ready for any situation. So let your hunger be a reminder of your failure and let it drive you to improvement
[23:17] <@Spiritcurse> The men ooh and aah at your words, clearly impressed by the presence of such an incredible master of the arcane arts.
[23:20] <@Spiritcurse> After hours of walking, you find yourself close to the army. However, a small patrol of men have spotted your approach, and close to attack! Thankfully, you feel you could probably get a spell off before they are within range.
[23:21] <@Spiritcurse> Your spell makes a brief fizzling noise, and one of your soldiers sneezes.
[23:22] <@Spiritcurse> The soldiers close to you, and in a brief melee, two of your men are thrown to the ground, thankfully tripping an enemy with their pratfalling bodies.
[23:24] <@Spiritcurse> The other soldier, bolstered by your spell of terror, lunges at a foe, throwing him to the ground and beginning to stab at his armour.
[23:25] <@Spiritcurse> The standing enemy soldier shouts for help, and you notice a man in black robes run towards the skirmish.
[23:29] <@Spiritcurse> You focus your energies to coating the spears of your soldiers in blinding venom. However, you get distracted by the shiny objects you're creating, and accidentally rip a hole in the fabric of spacetime. Two enemy soldiers vanish with a light burping noise.
[23:31] <@Spiritcurse> Your soldiers decide to charge at the surviving soldier. One of your men manages to stab themself in the leg, quite a feat with a spear. However, the opponent drops to the ground with a brief gurgle.
[23:32] <@Spiritcurse> The black robed man shouts, and a perfect diamond of translucent bronze encircles him. Or en-diamonds.
[23:35] <@Spiritcurse> You respond with a shout, and your men become shielded by a sphere of blades. They stab towards the mage, but are unable to penetrate his deflective spell.
[23:36] <@Spiritcurse> He invokes elven powers to smite you, but gains nothing more than a brief flash of boredom.
[23:37] <Kite> "Okay men this is how you really fight." I shout while pulling out my shortsword.
[23:37] <@Spiritcurse> Your sword gleams with an otherworldly light, and you feel yourself surge with strength.
[23:39] <@Spiritcurse> Your men once again clatter uselessly against the deflection, but you see a small crack appear.
[23:40] <@Spiritcurse> With another shout, the wizard's shield explodes into a thousand fragments, all of which clatter uselessly to the ground.
[23:42] <@Spiritcurse> Your sword impales the dark wizard, who collapses to the ground in a shower of multicoloured lights.
[23:44] <Kite> "And that's how a wizard handles his opponents." I say to the men while putting away my sword. "We have no time to lose, help him up and let's go." I say while pointing to the soilder who stabbed himself
[23:44] <@Spiritcurse> The men nod, visibly shaking with awe, and pick up the inept spearman.
[23:44] <@Spiritcurse> To your left, you see the main camp of the hostile nation. However, you feel that you could probably sneak towards either the large golem-like construct or the larger tent without being spotted, with any luck.
[23:45] <Kite> "To the golem structures." I say to the men quietly.
[23:47] <@Spiritcurse> You attempt to gain insight to the situations, but glean nothing more than the thought "reflection". While sneaking towards the camp, you are spotted by a sentry, who turns to ring a bell. You have enough time to cast a spell before it rings.
[23:50] <@Spiritcurse> While attempting to transform yourself into the image of kindly women, you hiccup. Aside from ruining your spell, this makes one of your soldiers extremely effeminate for a few seconds.
[23:51] <Kite> "That didn't go as planned..." I mutter to myself at the failed spell.
[23:52] <@Spiritcurse> The sentry rings the bell, and then lunges towards you with a dagger. Thankfully, you manage to block it just in time.
[23:54] <@Spiritcurse> One soldier, clearly distracted by your incredible attempt at rupturing the fabric of reality, misses his mark. However, the other two land solid blows on the sentry. You feel you have a small amount of time before backup shows - time to hide, perhaps?
[23:57] <@Spiritcurse> You gain a small insight into the nature of hiding, which essentially boils down to "not being seen". You then duck into a tent, and chuckle silently as the backup thunders past.
[23:57] <@Spiritcurse> Inside the tent is a small chest, and a sleeping mage.
[00:02] <@Spiritcurse> Your mastery over discering the patterns of the future from the web of probability tell you that she might continue to snooze, or might wake up and stab you. The soldiers gasp in awe at this revalation.
[00:04] <Kite> "...To heck with this..." I say before hitting her rather harshly with the flat of my blade over her head, making sure she won't get up and attack. "Men search the treasure chest."
[00:05] <@Spiritcurse> They nod and search the chest. It contains 35 gold coins and two scrolls. You feel like you could learn the spells contained in seconds if you tried.
[00:08] <Kite> I look at the spells before memorizing them. "Okay men, we need to head towards those golem things eventually, are you ready?"
[00:09] <@Spiritcurse> "Yes, we're ready, o lord". The men are clearly amazed at your ability to read the scrolls. Illiteracy is a wonderful thing.
[00:11] <@Spiritcurse> As you leave, you twist the tent entrance into a portal. The next thing to step out will find themselves trapped in your dungeons, with no potential escape.
[00:12] <Kite> I snicker a bit at the idea of someone just randomly popping up in the dungeon ebfore signalling for us to go. 'Heh, being a mage has its perks.' I think to myself as we go.
[00:14] <@Spiritcurse> The path to the golems is mercifully unguarded - it appears the guards are still looking for you elsewhere. However, a grey-robed mage is stood by the golems, tending to their armour. A small white disc lies on the table beside him.
[00:18] <@Spiritcurse> Hearing your failed spell, the mage whirls and shouts an invocation to the skies above, to grant him a mighty warrior. To his chagrin, all that appears is a cloud pointing to the golems behind him. He facepalms.
[00:21] <@Spiritcurse> Lightning surrounds the blades of your swords, and one of your soldiers takes the chance to decaptitate a golem while another slices at an arm.
[00:22] <@Spiritcurse> The mage points to each golem, which unleashes a scream of pure rage. They punch towards your soldiers, launching one several metres back, cracking several ribs.
[00:25] <@Spiritcurse> Your remaining soldiers retaliate against the golem that punched out their friend, and succeed in removing an arm with their lightning blades.
[00:27] <@Spiritcurse> With another bark from the mage, small crossbows sprout from the arms of the golems. Another soldier is dropped by a powerful punch, but at your shout, a wall of gemstones blocks the other blow.
[00:31] <@Spiritcurse> Still continuing with your gemstone spells, you form armour around your soldier. However, the sudden change throws him off, and he misses completely.
[00:32] <@Spiritcurse> The mage barks another word, and the crossbows are loaded with bolts, dripping with some form of toxin. One golem manages to loose early, spearing another one, but one bolt rings true and ruptures the armour of your soldier.
[00:36] <@Spiritcurse> The two of you shimmer, and you feel that you'll probably avoid most crossbow attacks.
[00:37] <@Spiritcurse> The mage forces some of your shield to the side, only for it to spring back and deflect the volley of crossbow bolts further away from you.
[00:40] <@Spiritcurse> While your spell fizzles, the soldier uses his envenomed, electrical mighty sword to smash another golem into a thin layer of dust.
[00:41] <@Spiritcurse> The mage makes the mud around your soldier liquid, sinking him partially into the ground. The golem seizes the opportunity, and shatters the gemstone armour, thankfully leaving the soldier unharmed.
[00:43] <@Spiritcurse> The two of you swing simultaneously, rending the golem's head from its body and leaving it inert.
[00:44] <@Spiritcurse> The mage throws his arms to the sky and then the ground, trying to summon a host of angels and demons to his side. Instead, nothing happens.
[00:46] <@Spiritcurse> Taking the most of the chance, you step in and neatly sever the head of the mage. He topple to the ground, falling beside the table with the disc. "Time to go home?", the soldier asks?
[00:47] <Kite> "Yup." I say taking the disk and pocketing it. I go to one of the soilders and helps him to his feet wile motioning for him to help the other. "With any luck we can get out of here safetly and with everyone alive."
[00:48] <@Spiritcurse> While carrying the disc, you notice that you feel a lot lighter, almost as if you could fly. It wouldn't be too difficult to jump and glide back to the village, with a little magical jump-start. The soldiers limp towards you, clinging on.
[00:50] <Kite> "Time to go home home men." I say before we lift of to go home, having destroyed the golems like I was told.
[00:53] <@Spiritcurse> You land back at the village to the happy cries of the villagers - apparently the amulet being removed caused a chain reaction among all the golems. With their machines gone, the evil empire will have no choice but to back off, for now.

[20:37] <@Spiritcurse> Late the previous night, during the celebrations, you heard a rumour - a powerful lich was opening his crypt for the first time in decades, and the first brave adventurer to reach the centre would recieve an amazing prize! You, among with most others at the tavern, swore a drunken oath to win this challenge! Now, in the cold light of morning, you must decide - is it really worth it?
[20:41] <kite> "I promised myself I wouldn't drink ever again since that last incident... this is why evn all powerful mages need to keep their words." He says groaning at the prospect of going to the grave. He decides to go see about how his warriors and mage are before deciding what to do.
[20:43] <@Spiritcurse> The warriors stand to attention as you pass, although you can smell alcohol on their breath. The kidnapped mage is still in the castle dungeons - you'll need to request permission to enter.
[20:43] <kite> "I am here to ask permission to see my captive?" He says with a fake humble voice.
[20:44] <@Spiritcurse> The prison guard shrugs and opens the door. The dungeons are a grim affair, cold and dark stone seems to be the interior decoration of choice. You can hear annoyed elven shouts from downstairs.
[20:46] <kite> "Well nice to see you too." He says laughing at her somewhat insultingly.
[20:46] <@Spiritcurse> "Why did you bring me here? What did I ever do to you?" the elf shouts in a complaining tone.
[20:48] <kite> "I brought you here for being on the other side of a conflict between nation's." 'The truth... I got bored...' He laughs to himself.
[20:49] <@Spiritcurse> "But you're the evil side! We're supposed to win!" she complains further.
[20:50] <kite> "Well to bad because we won because we're awesome. Besides people who atatck other nations with giant golems normally aren't seen as good guys." He says the last part with an actual serious voice.
[20:51] <@Spiritcurse> "We only did that after you killed our king!" she whines. From upstairs, another mage walks down.
[20:52] <kite> "Meh, stuff like that happens."
[20:52] <@Spiritcurse> "Exactly, so you started it." With that, the elf crosses her arms and pouts.
[20:53] <Dorian> "What is this I don't even."
[20:53] <kite> "Who are you?" He says ignoring the elf while turning to the new mage.
[20:54] <@Spiritcurse> "Oh, so you needed backup just to deal with one tiny little elf? Cowards!" the elf whines, clearly desperate for attention.
[20:55] <kite> "Don't make me cast a silence spell on you." He says not even turning to her.
[20:56] <@Spiritcurse> "Do your worst! I bet a newbie wizard like you couldn't even if you tried!"
[20:56] <Dorian> "I am the most powerful mage in all the land. I am the Unsanctioned Castle Antiseer. I am known throughout the land. There are some who fear my very presence. There are some who tremble at the very mentioning of my name. There are some who call me... Tim. Not sure why, I'm actually called Jonathan."
[20:56] <kite> "Well then
[20:57] <kite> Johanthan nice to meet you." He turns to the elf mage again. "Cya in about two days, tell the guards I say hi."
[20:58] <@Spiritcurse> "No! I mean... yeah! Good riddance! I'll be back on the streets by midday!"
[20:59] <kite> "Nope, you forget you're a prisoner of war. No rights, you'll be lucky to be out in a few years." He says with a smirk.
[21:00] <Dorian> I glance from one to the other, "I don't know what's going on, but I need some popcorn."
[21:00] <@Spiritcurse> "I'll escape! There isn't a cell in the land that can hold me!"
[21:00] <kite> "And yet... here you are... in a jail cell."
[21:01] <@Spiritcurse> "Minor details!"
[21:02] <kite> "Sure they are. We'll ignore the fact that you're still here in a jail cell."
[21:03] <@Spiritcurse> "I like it here! It's got... walls, and... and a bunk."
[21:03] <Dorian> I snap my fingers, "And a wolf."
[21:04] <@Spiritcurse> The elf jumps, and manages a powerful exorcism of... nothing. Defeated, she crawls into the corner, whimpering.
[21:06] <kite> "A don't be too sad, I'll make sure to visit you everyday." He says with a laugh.
[21:07] <@Spiritcurse> "I await your return with bated breath" the captive replies, words dripping with sarcasm.
[21:08] <kite> "Ah, sarcasm music to my ears." He says while getting ready to leave.
[21:11] <@Spiritcurse> Outside, you see a large number of large men doing manly things and preparing to leave for the crypt. Behind them, a few more seasoned adventurers check their armour and weapons, and mount up.
[21:17] <kite> "Well then men, another adventure awaits us. Did you prepare?" He says turning to them.
[21:17] <Dorian> "We have men?"
[21:18] <@Spiritcurse> The men glance between themselves and shrug. Eventually, a consensus of "I dunno, sure, why not?" is reached.
[21:18] <kite> "We have men." He says smugly at him before motioning for them to follow him.
[21:20] <@Spiritcurse> The three soldiers form a roughly orderly line and follow you, occasionally even in step with each other.
[21:25] <@Spiritcurse> After several hours walking, you reach a small clearing. Johnathan trips over a log, landing face down inside the clearing, while the rest of you manage to take up positions behind trees. You see a small patrol of elves parade though, singing loudly. How the singing didn't give them away is a mystery.
[21:26] <@Spiritcurse> Upon seeing Johnathon, they halt and draw spears. "Who goes there?"
[21:26] <Dorian> "Gah!" I stand up. "I am Johnathen, of the eterally respelled name."
[21:27] <Dorian> "Make that eternally. God, I stammer when scared."
[21:28] <@Spiritcurse> "Greeting's, Jhonathen! It is a pleasure to welcome you to our forest..." the elf pauses, and leans in close for effect "... of DOOM!" The elves burst into laughter, the effect of which is spoiled by the daisy chain each wears.
[21:29] <kite> "Ya... so are you going to let us pass or do we have to fight. I kinda have things to do." The fate diviner says with a yawn.
[21:29] <Dorian> "What he said."
[21:30] <Dorian> "Sans the whole 'Things to do' part."
[21:30] <@Spiritcurse> "Before you may pass through this forest, you must tell us one thing, and one thing only! Then, you may leave... unharmed." Once again, the elves cackle maniacally.
[21:31] <Dorian> "Oh, great, a mystic and perilous test." I sigh.
[21:31] <kite> "I don't have time for this....."
[21:32] <@Spiritcurse> "Within this glade, wanderer, you have all the time... in the world!" The non-speakers begin to cackle, but are shushed. "Really though, we're late for a party, and we're missing one of our girls."
[21:33] <Dorian> "Time? TIME!? I don't ahve TIME!" I extend my arms outwards. "ZA WARUDO!"
[21:34] <@Spiritcurse> You feel time move away from the glade, and suddenly notice that everything is moving incredibly slowly, except yourself. Somehow, relativity doesn't seem to mind.
[21:35] <Dorian> "HAH!" I yell, and make a dash past the elves.
[21:35] <@Spiritcurse> You escape the glade unharmed. However, your partner is still trapped until your spell fades. The elves seem to very slowly jump, then look confused.
[21:36] <Dorian> I fall over, cackling maniacally.
[21:37] <@Spiritcurse> Your spell seems to fade, leaving you within earshot, but out of sight.
[21:37] <kite> ".....I'm going to kill him...."
[21:39] <@Spiritcurse> The elves look more confused, and ask again "Seriously, have you seen her? Angry girl, claims she's a healer, really isn't."
[21:41] <kite> "Nope don't have a clue."
[21:43] <@Spiritcurse> One of the elves squints at you, before reaching into his backpack. "Somebody took my sandwich!" he exclaims, then all leave the glade in persuit of a mystery thief. You notice a small shiny on the ground as they depart.
[21:44] <kite> The Fate Diviner picks it up to examine it.
[21:45] <@Spiritcurse> The shiny is a small amulet with an engraving of a skull on one side. It is slightly slimy and cool to the touch.
[21:50] <kite> He pockets it beforem otioning that its time to go.
[21:51] <@Spiritcurse> The amulet begins to hiss gently when placed in your pocket, but raises no further objections. You leave the glade, and notice that you are incredibly close to the crypt. You could enter today, or rest and wait for the bumbling idiots to set off most of the traps.
[21:53] <@Spiritcurse> Your incredible talents at divining the future reveal that the strands of fate may or may not deliver good fate unto you.
[21:54] <kite> "Fate... why do you enjoy toying with me?" He says to himself while thinking. 'Okay I know I could just wait but I want that prize..."
[21:56] <Dorian> I wander round the corner. "Heee~eeey. Watcha doin'?"
[21:57] <@Spiritcurse> From inside the crypt, you hear a high pitched scream, followed by a gurgle. A small spout of lava bursts from a hole nearby, with a shiny weapon clutched in a skeletal hand ending the spurt.
[21:59] <kite> "sucks to be him." He says. "Oh well free weapon."
[21:59] <@Spiritcurse> The weapon is a throwing axe made of a green glass. It seems to wriggle constantly, as if hunting for something.
[22:00] <Dorian> "I wouldn't touch that, if I were you."
[22:01] <kite> "Do I look dumb? I was going to tell one of the guys to touch it."
[22:02] <Dorian> "Yes."
[22:03] <kite> I'm going to ignore that. Well guys we wait till tomorrow."
[22:05] <Dorian> "Seems sane."
[22:05] <@Spiritcurse> One of the soldiers, sensing his impending doom, pushes another towards the axe. He touches it, and lets loose a blood curdling scream. His eyes roll back, and he leaps backwards and falls to the ground, still.
[22:07] <Dorian> "Huh. That's... something. He okay?"
[22:07] <@Spiritcurse> The other soldiers make a point of pretending not to hear you, and back away.
[22:08] <kite> "Think he might be dead..." He sgihes in annoyance before looking at the two remaining soilders. "I don't care how but I need the two of yout o fetch me a living squirell... or heck any animal you can find."
[22:09] <@Spiritcurse> The soldiers nod and vanish into the woods.
[22:10] <kite> The mage let's out a stream of curses that seem to center around how stupid the soilders are.
[22:10] <@Spiritcurse> You hear a faint sniggering, echoing around the trees.
[22:13] <kite> Finally done cursing he starts pacing annoyed at how long they're taking.
[22:14] <@Spiritcurse> You hear yet more sniggering, as well as a sound further off of a disgruntled moose. Recognizing this sound is rote learning at wizard college.
[22:15] <Dorian> "Freaking meese. Mooses. Moose... meese... mooses... WHATEVER!"
[22:20] <kite> "Ugh..." He says still pacing.
[22:23] <@Spiritcurse> Several minutes later, the soldiers return, dragging a live moose by the horns.
[22:24] <kite> 'Wow I'm impressed.' He thinks to himself before saying. "Finally! Now bring the moose over the dead dude."
[22:25] <@Spiritcurse> The soldiers drag the moose to the body, who you swear has moved since you last looked.
[22:26] <kite> "Guess I better check to make sure he's dead." The mage says while doing just that to make sure he's actually dead and not knocked out.
[22:26] <Dorian> "Hmm... could be sure that corpse wasn't there a minute ago. You do that, I'll prep for blasting."
[22:27] <@Spiritcurse> When you check the soldier, you notice his eyes are open, and he's sniggering. "I had you going, didn't I! I really had you going!". Clearly, the man is more amused that ever before.
[22:28] <kite> The mage looks like he's about to get mad before he starts laughing. "You know I've gained new found respect for you." He says helping the man up.
[22:28] <@Spiritcurse> "Aren't I brilliant! It was harmless, but I made it look deadly!"
[22:29] <Dorian> "Do that again, and not even the darkest of demons will find your soul."
[22:29] <@Spiritcurse> The man's stuttered laughter peters out, and he hides behind the moose.
[22:29] <kite> "Well then guys, now that the fun has been had let's go find a place to camp. And look we even have food." He says pointing to the moose.
[22:30] <Dorian> "Cool. You want it dead?
[22:30] <@Spiritcurse> "But... but moose!" one soldier stutters, hugging the moose around the neck.
[22:31] <Dorian> "I repeat, do you want it dead?"
[22:32] <@Spiritcurse> "No!"
[22:33] <Dorian> "Was I talking to you?"
[22:33] <@Spiritcurse> "Maybe?"
[22:33] <kite> "Fine, let the moose live..." He sighs. "You'll have to find dinner though.
[22:34] <Dorian> "Go on then, soldier. Go find us dinner!"
[22:34] <@Spiritcurse> The soldiers shrug and wander back into the forest, sighing and laughing alternately.
[22:35] <Dorian> "Goddamn it, I need a new weapon." I sit, and start to chant a series of rituals.
[22:36] <@Spiritcurse> After several dozen rituals, it appears clear that the stereotypical 80s disco dancers are unwilling to relocate, and you will have to share the camp with them until the spell fades.
[22:36] <Dorian> "Oh, I fucking hate magic..."
[22:37] <kite> The mage of Fate ignores the sound before pulling out the amulet from his pocket.
[22:38] <@Spiritcurse> The amulet still feels slimy, and appears drawn to the axe still laying on the floor.
[22:38] <kite> The mage simply sets the amulet on the axe to see what happens.
[22:39] <@Spiritcurse> As the two collide, the slime seems to vanish and form a new shape - that of a powerful, goo-formed skeletal warrior. It is roughly 4 foot tall, and lifts the throwing axe in two hands.
[22:40] <kite> "Well joy..." He says simply before pointing his finger at the new figure magic leaping from his finger. However he does nothing trying to see if its hostile or not.
[22:41] <@Spiritcurse> The skeleton flexes its goo-muscles, and strikes a combat pose.
[22:41] <kite> "Today is not my day..."
[22:43] <@Spiritcurse> A spear of blue gemstones cuts through the goo soldier, who appears to be unhurt, at least physically. It looks at you, puppy eyes brimming with tears, and sits down, throwing the axe to the ground in a gelatinous sulk.
[22:44] <Dorian> "Oh, hells, it's like my first dog." I raise a hand, and begin casting a spell.
[22:45] <@Spiritcurse> A circle of runes appears around the soldier. However, you notice a "!" rune out of place, and accidentally remove all traces of non-divinity from the ooze. He smiles and leaps to his... appendages, I guess.
[22:47] <Dorian> "Oh, fucking hell..."
[22:48] <@Spiritcurse> The ooze looks up to you pitifully, and you swear you can here "papa?".
[22:49] <kite> "Well then... son?" The mage says actually confused... not that he shows it on his face.
[22:50] <@Spiritcurse> "Papa?". The ooze holds his upper appendages out, seemingly unaware that he's literally dripping acid.
[22:52] <Dorian> "Gods above, end it!"
[22:52] <@Spiritcurse> "Mama?" the ooze says, turning to the noise.
[22:54] <@Spiritcurse> Reinforcing the runes seems to increase the creature's happiness. He becomes less divine, and looks gratefully at you.
[22:55] <Dorian> "Oh, screw this!" I begin to concentrate.
[22:58] <@Spiritcurse> The ooze notices your spell and conjures mystical clubs to bat away your attack. However, he forgets to actually make the clubs out of something, and is promptly disintegrated.
[22:59] <kite> "Well that was....eventful...."
[23:00] <Dorian> "Indeed it was. Now, where are those goddamn soldiers with our food?"
[23:00] <@Spiritcurse> You hear a faint whisper on the wind of "I only wanted to be loved..." before a rustle in the trees drowns it out.
[23:00] <kite> "Well then... Appearantly you killed my son..."
[23:01] <@Spiritcurse> As if powered by narrativium, the soldiers promptly return, carrying a dead moose.
[23:01] <Dorian> "You save one but kill another? Well."
[23:01] <@Spiritcurse> You divine something useful about the future! You will meet your wayward son again, but you aren't sure where.
[23:07] <kite> "Hey, if your a son of mine, you'll meet me again." He says to the wind quietly.
[23:10] <kite> "So... let's eat a moose?" He says finally.
[23:11] <Dorian> "Let's eat a moose. Cooked with magma."
[23:13] <@Spiritcurse> At your command, a stream of lava bursts from your hands, neatly cooking the moose. However, the dead moose remains uncooked, and the soldiers weep for their loss.
[23:14] <Dorian> "Wow. Yeah, I have horrible aim."
[23:14] <kite> "Well that sucks... oh well at least we have food."
[23:15] <@Spiritcurse> The dancers dig into their moose, ensuring their meal is consumed with the largest possible quantities of funk and jive managable. Soon afterwards, the soldiers do the same, amid cries of loss.
[23:17] <Dorian> I tuck into my helping of moose, enjoying it with maximum in-your-face-ness.
[23:19] <kite> "Men, do not mourn the loss of your moose. The moose's noble sacrifice will allow you to have great strength tomorrow. Learn to gain strength and eventually you'll be able to protect what you care for." The Mage of Fate says while eating some moose.

[21:46] <@Spiritcurse> When we last met our intrepid and skilled explorers, they were resting outside the entrance to a crypt, accompanied by three soldiers and a moose. The disco dancers have found alternative accomadation, and are unlikely to accompany you on this leg of your noble quest. You arise from your rest, full of youthful vigour and ready to wizard where few have wizarded before.
[21:48] <Kite> "Men, today we walk into a crypt filled with danger, traps, and most likely nothing any of you can use or care about... So are you guys ready to go?"
[21:49] <@Spiritcurse> The soldiers stand up and nod, clearly still recovering from the trauma of losing their moose.
[21:50] <Kite> "Well then, let's go!" He says while walking into the cave.
[21:51] <@Spiritcurse> Stood slightly inside the cave is a wizard dressed all in grey. You recognize him, but the soldiers whimper and go stand back outside in the sunlight.
[21:53] <Kite> "Come on men, this cave won't explore itself." He says while looking at the familiar mage.
[21:53] <@Spiritcurse> "We can't go in... we have... a shaman's appointment."
[21:54] <Kite> "... So basically you guys are scared?"
[21:54] <Dorian> "Don't be pussies. We have a CAVE to explore."
[21:55] <@Spiritcurse> "Not at all! We just need to- hey look a bear!"
[21:56] <Dorian> "KILL IT WITH MAGMA!"
[21:56] <Kite> "If you guys want to run away I don't blame you." He says before turning away from them and going deeper into the cave, ignoring what Johnathan said.
[21:57] <Dorian> I frown, snap my fingers a little, and wander off.
[21:57] <@Spiritcurse> The chain of magma obliterates a good portion of the forest, spiralling northwards and ploughing through several trees before exploding in a blaze of glory, fire, and one soldier.
[21:58] <Dorian> "Well, that was unexpected."
[21:59] <Dorian> "But not necessaily bad. Come on, cave time."
[22:00] <@Spiritcurse> The inside of the cave is a long corridor, tapestries adorning the walls. The floor is cold, hard stone, irregular and bumpy. You can't see all the way to the back.
[22:06] <Kite> "Very cavish..." He says clearly annoyed at the loss of one of his men.
[22:07] <Dorian> "Well, then. Let's do this."
[22:09] <Dorian> I crack my neck and start to walk towards the first room.
[22:09] <@Spiritcurse> Walking further down the corridor, you can see a small wooden door. It appears slightly ajar, as if forced open by a brutish man.
[22:10] <Kite> "This cann only end so well." The fate mage says musing to himself.
[22:10] <@Spiritcurse> You hear a quiet skittering noise from behind the door, as well as a very faint buzzing. You can taste magic in the air, a sort of burnt tin taste.
[22:13] <@Spiritcurse> The skittering stops, but the buzzing increases to a pained screech.
[22:13] <Dorian> "That worked."
[22:14] <Kite> "Well then, let's see what's behind door number one." He says before opening the door.
[22:14] <Dorian> "You first, then."
[22:15] <@Spiritcurse> Behind the door is a large centipede, some legs trapped in copper holes. The room is lit by candles set in small alcoves in the walls, and a small pile of bones rests in one corner. There is a door to the north and south of the room, neither with any visible lock.
[22:17] <Kite> "Giant centipedes...awesome." He says paying more attention to the doors then the over sized bug.
[22:17] <Dorian> I sigh, and begin to chant a spell. The chant sounds odly familiar and somehow... funkadelic.
[22:17] <@Spiritcurse> The bug strains in the attempt to bite either of you, but fails.
[22:18] <@Spiritcurse> As you complete the challenge, a large black man coated in stereotypical disco attire materialises. He looks around the room before lifting a bone to use as a club.
[22:20] <Dorian> "Good day, sir. You have been called here from the deepest pits of hell to act as a combination meatshield-weapon. You know, typical summon stuff."
[22:20] <Dorian> "Kill the bug."
[22:20] <Kite> The fate mage lifts an eyebrow at the wierd person that just appeared but says nothing.
[22:21] <@Spiritcurse> The dancer nods and swings his club to the bug. As he does, the fate mage mutters a word and countless blue spikes erupt from the ground, rending the bug in two.
[22:22] <Dorian> "I choose to believe the big black guy killed the bug. Now, do we go north or south?"
[22:23] <Kite> "Sorry bug, it's business." He says before pointing to the door to the north. "My teacher said to always look forward to your destination s we should go that way."
[22:24] <Dorian> "Let's do this, then." I start to walk towards the door.
[22:25] <@Spiritcurse> The door is characteristically not forthcoming with information, and it dawns on you that short of clairvoyance, some method of opening it would be required to see beyond.
[22:26] <Dorian> "Someone, open the damn door."
[22:27] <Kite> "Normally when you want something done you do it yourself." He says to Johnathan while gesturing to the door. "Are you a wizard or a wimp?"
[22:29] <Dorian> "I'm a wizard." I turn to the black guy. "Open the damn door."
[22:29] <@Spiritcurse> He nods, and opens it. Beyond the door is a small collection of coffins. Thankfully, the skeletons within seem perfectly happy to go about the business of eternal rest, and do not attack.
[22:30] <Kite> "This place is absolutely cheerful." He says while looking for another door.
[22:31] <@Spiritcurse> The previous room contained one other door to the south, you remember.
[22:32] <Kite> "To the other door!" He says before going back and opening the door that leads south.
[22:32] <Dorian> "Nothing." I turn once again to the black guy, "Yo, we checkin' da otha room, you dig?"
[22:32] <@Spiritcurse> The south door leads to a long corridor. More tapestries line the walls, although the further down the corridor you look, the more weathered and battered they appear.
[22:34] <@Spiritcurse> The corridor appears to fork at the end, with the passage continuing in one direction, and an archway occupying the other. The archway seems brightly lit from several gems embedded in it.
[22:34] <Kite> "The decorating staff here is wonderful, I wonder how much they get paid..." He says before walking forward.
[22:34] <@Spiritcurse> You notice the gems glow slightly brighter as you walk closer, the green one near the top more than the rest.
[22:35] <Dorian> I sigh, and follow my idiotic companion into the most likely heavily trapped tomb.
[22:35] <Kite> The Fate mage looks at the gems before shaking his head in a no. "Never touch mystical shining gems... or regular gems for that matter." He says before walking down the passgae.
[22:35] <@Spiritcurse> As you walk closer, the blue gem on the left hand side glows brighter. You narrowly avoid what you assume to be a trap, as you hear a mechanical noise just below where you nearly put your foot.
[22:36] <@Spiritcurse> The fate mage is nearly adjacent to the archway, and the green gem glows almost painfully bright.
[22:39] <Dorian> I catch up to the fate mage, making sure not to step on anything that doesn't look like an actual tomb floor.
[22:39] <Kite> "I don't like the feel of this..."
[22:40] <@Spiritcurse> As you catch up, the blue gem glows equally bright, the rest remaining at candlelight level.
[22:41] <Dorian> I sigh, "We're gonna need more mages, aren't we?"
[22:44] <Kite> The Fate mage sighes before saying, "Let fate decide my path." before stepping into the archway.
[22:46] <@Spiritcurse> You hear a loud crackling noise, and the gems explode in a flash of green light. Beyond the archway is what looks like a small church, with an altar at the front and several rows of pews before it. Two people are sat in the pews, staring intently at the altar.
[22:46] <Dorian> I shudder, and start to walk towards the pews.
[22:48] <@Spiritcurse> The people do not respond, and you hear a faint muttering coming from all around you, too faint to make out the words.
[22:48] <Kite> "I'm not liking this place..."
[22:50] <Dorian> "I know." I sigh, and turn to my Black Disco Dude. "I'm going to try something. Stand back." I begin chanting a spell, intending to use the divinity of the Black Disco Dude to eliminate the non-divinity of the Black Disco Dude.
[22:50] <@Spiritcurse> You notice that though the candles adorning the walls are still lit, the room seems to be growing darker by the second - slowly, but enough to notice.
[22:51] <@Spiritcurse> Several concentric rings shoot from your eyes around your dancer, before entirely surrounding him. After a few seconds and a loud pulsing noise, they vanish along with the dancer, leaving nothing in their place.
[22:51] <Kite> The Fate mage pulls out his sword looking around warily.
[22:52] <@Spiritcurse> Your sword crackles with electricity, though even that light appears to be fading away over time. One of the candles on the altar sputters into life.
[22:54] <Dorian> I begin to invoke the powers of the void to consume the darkness and replace it with light.
[22:54] <@Spiritcurse> At your second spell, the archway seems to fill with a bright blue mist. It ripples, like a pond, before focusing on a hilltop seen, bright sunlight streaming forth. Even that seems to fade, though slower.
[22:55] <Kite> "I really don't like being left in the dark..."
[22:55] <@Spiritcurse> Though you strain your casting to its limits, you seem unable to create much light, at least for long. However, the candle on the altar flickers out.
[22:55] <Dorian> "Hmm... Fate mage, cast more spells."
[22:57] <@Spiritcurse> The fate mage focuses yet more power into his sword, and it seems to grow slightly more reflective, though there is fast becoming no light to reflect.
[23:00] <@Spiritcurse> He then creates himself a suit of armour, and the room goes completely black. You hear the sounds of two people standing up in perfect unison.
[23:01] <Dorian> "NO!" I cast a spell, any spell!
[23:02] <@Spiritcurse> You hear a faint howl, a growl, then the sound of a sword slash and a yelp.
[23:03] <Dorian> "Well, that didn't work. So..."
[23:04] <@Spiritcurse> You feel intense warmth come from above you as the magma whirl presumably worked. The whisperings increase in volume, seeming to reach a crescendo.
[23:06] <@Spiritcurse> As the voices reach an almost painful threshold, you both feel a sharp hit to the back of the head, and the light returns to the room. The two people in the pews appear not to have moved, and remain transfixed on the altar.
[23:08] <Kite> "That was... akward..." The fate mage says while rubbing the back of his head.
[23:10] <@Spiritcurse> The voices have entirely stopped now, and even the shards of broken gem seem to have gone. Looking around, nothing seems to have happened from the darkness except mild bruising.
[23:11] <@Spiritcurse> After several seconds of charging, Johnathon unleashes a ball of darkness towards the people, who seem to be coated briefly in black ink before vanishing.
[23:11] <Dorian> "Huh. That worked."
[23:12] <Kite> "Must you do that to everything that seems mildly threatening?"
[23:12] <Dorian> "Yes. I'm an ANTISEER. I literally find the oposite of things and make it real. Descruction is the ultimate opposite. That is ultimate desctruction. Quod est demonstrandum."
[23:13] <@Spiritcurse> Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a lever behind the altar. It seems ornate and engraved, and the mechanisms appear untouched by rust and decay.
[23:13] <Kite> The Fate mage rolls his eyes before looking around. "Wasn't there suppose to be some kind of treasure here or did we get duped?"
[23:14] <Kite> "Instead of treasure I get a lever.... joy..."
[23:15] <Dorian> "Hey! Levers are brilliant. They make the fun things happen."
[23:16] <Kite> "Well then let's have some fun." He says before going to turn the lever.
[23:18] <@Spiritcurse> As you pull the lever, you hear the clattering of machinery back in the corridor, and then a muffled explosion.
[23:19] <Dorian> "Oh, great, this can only end well. And to top it all off, why did you stare at the altar, Fate Mage?"
[23:20] <Kite> "Why would I stare at an alter? What are you talking about?" He says before shrugging and going to leave out the way he came into the place to see if anything changed.
[23:20] <@Spiritcurse> The corridor outside seems brighter, and you can see quite a way down. You also hear frantic voices, one raised in anger at the other, from a room at the end.
[23:21] <Dorian> "Oh, this can only end well."
[23:21] <Dorian> I sigh, and wander after the Fate Mage, pausing only to take a breif glance at the altar.
[23:22] <Kite> "Stop staring at the alter and come on." He says noticing what you were doing.
[23:22] <@Spiritcurse> You can make out a few of the words from the room, it appears to be an argument - "... why would -I- blow the place up? I want to escape as much as you do!" "Well, maybe youre in it to kill us and take the loot!"
[23:23] <Dorian> "Oh, shush, you." I smile, and start to head towards the room the voices were coming from.
[23:23] <@Spiritcurse> "Quiet, someone's coming!" You hear a sword being drawn, and hear the crackle of a readied fire spell.
[23:26] <Kite> "We can hear you and apparantly you can hear us. Unready the fire magic and we can try to talk peacefully." The fate mage calls out to them.
[23:27] <Dorian> I sigh, and ready my magma chain spell.
[23:27] <@Spiritcurse> "How do we know you're not working with this traitor?" You hear the sounds of a brief struggle, ending with the fire spell vanishing with a pop.
[23:29] <Kite> "How do you know I'm not working with you?" I call back sarcastically while still advancing.
[23:30] <@Spiritcurse> "You're one of them, aren't you? From the altar room?" A definite tremor of fear enters his voice.
[23:30] <Dorian> "We killed them with a mobile black hole, if that's what you mean."
[23:31] <@Spiritcurse> "All of them? How much magic do you have?" He seems impressed and skeptical at once.
[23:32] <Kite> "Lots."
[23:32] <Dorian> "Enough to throw a giant chain made of magma through this entire build.... wiat, what did you say about 'them from the altar room'?" I say, glancing at the Fate Mage.
[23:32] <@Spiritcurse> "Enough for all of them? Our main sorceror died trying!"
[23:33] <Dorian> "Your main sorceror was a pussy. Now, what was that about 'them from the altar room'?"
[23:34] <@Spiritcurse> "The cult, surely you passed them? With the giant glowing red and purple stones?"
[23:35] <Kite> "I think you mean green and blue."
[23:35] <Dorian> "We got green and blue stones and two creepy as fuck guys. This can only end well."
[23:35] <@Spiritcurse> "Only two? Are you sure? How many were in your party?"
[23:36] <Dorian> "Two... are you going where I think you're going?"
[23:36] <Dorian> "Wait, do Black Disco Dudes summoned forth from the darkest depths of the Inferno count?"
[23:37] <@Spiritcurse> "I'm not sure - we had a summon as well. There're four of us, if it helps, we saw dozens of cultists."
[23:38] <Dorian> "So, what, they only react to summons? We gonna test this?"
[23:39] <Dorian> "WAIT. How many did you leave alive?"
[23:39] <@Spiritcurse> "We managed to kill two, but they brought down our sorceror and we fled."
[23:40] <Dorian> "We also killed.... oh, no. Wait here, I'mma go destroy the altar."
[23:40] <Kite> "This just gets better and better..."
[23:41] <@Spiritcurse> "Want us to come with you?"
[23:42] <Dorian> "Sure, why not?"
[23:42] <Kite> "All are welcome to come and join the party."
[23:44] <@Spiritcurse> You hear a sword being sheathed, and four people leave the room. The first is a tall but gangly man, dressed in a tunic and simple trousers, carrying what appears to be a map case. The second two are female warriors, plate armoured and carrying swords. The last is an elderly man, bedecked in symbols of faith in The Light.
[23:44] <Dorian> "Oh, great, a cleric. This can only end well."
[23:45] <Dorian> "And I have been saying that a lot today, haven't I?"
[23:45] <@Spiritcurse> He bows, and in a slow ponderous voice says "Yes, young one. And the day has only just begun."
[23:46] <Kite> "Well then let's get going, because as much as I like new people, I like them better when I'm not in a death trap of a cave."
[23:48] <@Spiritcurse> You head back to the archway. As you approach, you notice that the gems have reappeared, and the purple and white ones are glowing painfully brightly. The others glow dimly, as you have come to expect.
[23:48] <Dorian> "Well. This will either be brilliant or horrific."
[23:49] <@Spiritcurse> The warrior women pause and look to the assorted spellcasters. "Shall we go first, sirs?"
[23:50] <Dorian> "Sure, why not?"
[23:51] <@Spiritcurse> They nod and walk through the arch, causing the air to shimmer as they pass. You can't see what became of them - the room beyond is devoid of amazon.
[23:53] <Dorian> "Oh, hell, pocket dimensions." I turn away, "We're leaving."
[23:53] <Kite> "We can't just leave them."
[23:54] <@Spiritcurse> The cartographer looks anxiously through the arch. "We... we're just going to leave them?"
[23:55] <Dorian> "Yes, we can. I hate pocket dimensions. Physics is totally unpredictable, and demons sometimes crawl out of nothing."
[23:56] <Kite> "Well then go have fun somewhere else, i love pocket deminsions." He says before walking through the arch.
[23:58] <@Spiritcurse> He vanishes as he steps through the arch, leaving another ripple in the air.
[23:58] <Dorian> "See!? See what I mean!?"
[23:59] <@Spiritcurse> "It could just be a teleporter, I suppose" the old man murmers, stroking his prodigious beard.
[00:00] <Dorian> "Could be. Did it do it when you went through last time?"
[00:00] <@Spiritcurse> "We all stepped through at once last time. It was gleaming - immaculate white, worshippers in white robes, everything so clean and pure."
[00:02] <Dorian> "Wow. We got darkness engulfing everything. Anything spiritual about that in your religion?"
[00:02] <@Spiritcurse> "Only that the Darkness is the enemy, the great devourer."
[00:03] <Dorian> "Oh, for fuck's sake. They need help fighting it, then."
[00:03] <@Spiritcurse> "They are trained paladins - unless a caster joins their foes, they should be fine."
[00:04] <Dorian> "You know what? Let's just go kill things in there, ok?"
[00:04] <@Spiritcurse> "Good idea. After you, stranger."
[00:06] <Dorian> I sigh, "I'm going to hate myself in the morning." I then walk through the archway.

AND THEN WE SPLIT UP

[23:57] <Spiritcurse> Inside the room, you see a horrifying sight. The two women are back to back in the middle of the room, engaged in swordplay with several dozen cultists. The pews are overturned, some in flames. The altar is glowing a bright red, the only illumination in the room.
[00:00] <Kite> "Well this is not what I expected." He says before joining the females in their fight.
[00:01] <Spiritcurse> To your surprise, the women swing their swords at you, while the cultists ignore you. You cut two down with your blade, and their bodies collapse to the floor, landing in the fires.
[00:02] <Kite> "Why are you girls attacking me? I'm trying to help you out here."
[00:03] <Spiritcurse> They ignore your words, and snarl at you as their swords clatter off your armour.
[00:04] <Kite> Realizing it would take more hits to break his armor he ignores them and attacks more cultist to try and stop the problem.
[00:06] <Spiritcurse> The cultists fall before you in droves, and you spot a shimmering in the air as more people begin to materialize in the room.
[00:09] <Kite> He ignores the shimmer to turn to the paladins. "Okay let's get you two out of the way."
[00:09] <Spiritcurse> A large demonic figure appears in the corner of the room, striding confidently forwards, the cultist's blows scattering of its hide. The paladins ignore you and continue to strike.
[00:10] <Spiritcurse> You conjure a pit of copper in the room, and a cultist sinks into the floor, screaming in agony.
[00:11] <Kite> "Wait who's the evil guys here?" He says confused watching the cultist attack the demon. Believing the demon to be the biggest threat at the moment he decides to attack it.
[00:11] <Spiritcurse> The fire already in the room strengthens, but doesn't manage to pierce the armour of the demon. Several cultists perish in the flames, and a paladin falls to the floor, wounded.
[00:12] <Spiritcurse> Your blow rips a small chunk from the arm of the demon, who bellows with rage.
[00:13] <Kite> 'She's hurt and this demon is obviously strong. I need to find a way to make sure they both get out alive.' He thinks to himself while beginning to attack the demon again.
[00:14] <Spiritcurse> Your armour vanishes under a magical onslaught from the paladins and the cultists, and only by considerable strength of will do you survive.
[00:15] <Spiritcurse> You swing for the demon, but the effort of maintaining your protection causes you to miss.
[00:15] <Spiritcurse> The cultists continue to attack the standing paladin, while some come to attack the demon.
[00:17] <Spiritcurse> You recreate your armour, just in time to whether the impact of a blow from a magically enhanced demon fist.
[00:19] <Kite> Staggering back from the blow. The Fate mages seem to get more determined. "I will not lose here..."
[00:19] <Spiritcurse> The mace the other demon carried just parries your attack, but you seem to have regained ground.
[00:20] <Spiritcurse> The demon freezes, then vanishes with a look of shock.
[00:22] <Kite> "What in the world?"
[00:24] <Spiritcurse> Time seems to slow to a crawl, and slowly, the world fades to a different image. The women swing at the air, stood in a pristine church. The fires are gone, and the cultists with them. What you thought was a demon is replaced by Johnathon, stood next to the smoking remains of the altar.

[00:08] <Spiritcurse> Stepping through the archway, you spot a horrifying scene. The altar is glowing red, and the pews are overturned and burning. In the middle of the room you spot the two paladins fighting a horde of cultists, who fall in droves before the attack of what seems to be a demon, also the subject of the paladin's attacks. Their swords clatter off its hide, but they snarl and try regardless.
[00:10] <Dorian> "Oh, wow. This... fuck this, I'm setting this shit on fire."
[00:11] <Spiritcurse> The fire already in the room strengthens, but doesn't manage to pierce the armour of the demon. Several cultists perish in the flames, and a paladin falls to the floor, wounded.
[00:12] <Spiritcurse> The demon takes a swing at you, carving a small chunk of flesh from an arm, but otherwise leaving you unharmed.
[00:12] <Dorian> "OW, FUCK! DIE, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!"
[00:14] <Spiritcurse> The blast of dark energy melts the hide of the demon, who manages to stay upright only through severe effort.
[00:14] <Spiritcurse> He swings at you, but narrowly misses.
[00:15] <Spiritcurse> The cultists continue to attack the standing paladin, while some come to attack you.
[00:16] <Dorian> "SHAMOW!"
[00:17] <Spiritcurse> Your club of dark power pulverises several cultists, but clatters off the demons newly regrown hide.
[00:18] <Dorian> "Oh, I hate myself right now."
[00:19] <Spiritcurse> A bolt of blue energy launches towards you, but you manage to parry it just in time.
[00:20] <Dorian> "ZA WARUDO!"
[00:22] <Spiritcurse> Time seems to slow to a crawl, and slowly, the world fades to a different image. The women swing at the air, stood in a pristine church. The fires are gone, and the cultists with them. What you thought was a demon is replaced by the fate mage, frozen as he lunges for you. All the remains constant is the glowing of the red altar.
[00:22] <Dorian> "Oh, I am GOOD AT THIS!" I cast my annihilation combination spell at the Altar.
[00:24] <Spiritcurse> The altar shatters, and your spell fades. The surroundings remain the same - this clean world is the real one.

AND THEN WE REJOINED

[00:25] <Kite> "What was that?"
[00:25] <Dorian> "Illusions. We both got images that the other was a demon. Also fire and cultists and death."
[00:26] <@Spiritcurse> The old man emerges from the air, clearly having just stepped through the portal. "Strife! That's the word I couldn't translate!"
[00:28] <Dorian> I turn around. "No, really? We just fought each other, each believing the other to be a massive ass demon - at least, I'm assuning he saw a demon, because I sure as hell did - and you're just NOW telling us of the strife? Wow. You're good."
[00:29] <@Spiritcurse> "Ah. There may be a slight time lapse on the portal."
[00:29] <Dorian> "No, really?"
[00:29] <Kite> "Man Johnathan, you'd make an awesome demon." The mage says clearly tired.
[00:30] <Dorian> "Thanks. You.... eh, don't give up your day job."
[00:32] <Kite> "Meh, no worries here of me quiting mine. I have stuff I want to do and having people run from me would not be awesome."
[00:34] <@Spiritcurse> "We've searched most of the rest of the tomb, but there's a long drop, and we don't have any rope or flight scrolls. I don't suppose you could help?" the cartographer says, after appearing from the archway.
[00:37] <Dorian> "Ok, as long as we get out of this room as soon as possible."
[00:38] <@Spiritcurse> "Agreed. Thankfully, exiting seems simple."
[00:39] <Kite> "Well at least something is easy... besides killing giant worms that is."
[00:39] <Dorian> "Good, then let's do this." I walk out of the archway.
[00:39] <@Spiritcurse> The others follow, and you notice that the gems are extinguished this time - no light shines from any.
[00:40] <Dorian> "Someone go get the gems, we'll distribute them assuming noone dies from taking them?"
[00:41] <@Spiritcurse> The paladins nod and prise the gems from the sockets. The gems glow faintly at the touch of a different person each, other than the white, which glows for each paladin. Intuitively enough, each person is handed their respective gem.

You got lucky this time Dorian but next time I will win, because I'm the best Fate Diviner there ever was. xD

And I can summon what amounts to a MAGMA KRAKEN. You don't know what a magma kraken means? Well, let me explain it to you:



Yeah. That. I speak for all known Unsanctioned Castle Antiseers when I say "COME AT ME, BRO!"

Lol and I shall, just you wait

[01:15] <@Spiritcurse> Dropping down the pit, magically assisted as you are, takes a long time. A very long time. Were you a more mathematically minded person, you might have proved a theorem or devised a puzzle. Instead, you simply got bored. Counting the torches on the wall as they whizz past provides some light distraction - 1... 2... 3... 41... 42.
[01:15] <@Spiritcurse> Then, the torches stop, and you notice something. The cracked stone has been replaced by vines and moss, and the light below seems almost to resemble daylight. Your spell fades, and you figure you can climb down into the cavern now, if you wished. There doesn't seem to be much else to do, really.
[01:16] With a shrug the mage climbs down finally relieved at the change of scenary.
[01:17] <@Spiritcurse> The scene startles you. Even though you must be in the bowels of the Earth, trees and grass decorates the field before you. If you strain your eyes, you can see the roof of the cavern through the canopy of trees.
[01:18] <@Spiritcurse> You can hear the trickle of water down a small stream behind you, and the tweets of birds in the trees breaks the otherwise tranquil quiet.
[01:19] "Well this is completely different from what I expected." He says to himself as he begins looking aaround for a clue on where to go.
[01:20] <@Spiritcurse> Looking around, you spot something even more out of place. What you thought was a mossy covered rock by the river shifts slightly, and you figure it must just be someone hunched over in a green cloak.
[01:21] The fate mage walks within a few feet of what could be a man. "Hello fellow man." He says nonchalantly.
[01:22] <@Spiritcurse> "Who are you calling a man?" the figure responds, with a high pitched female voice, possibly a child. They don't turn towards you, instead continuing to focus on the river.
[01:24] "Well then my apologies." He says trying to polite holding in his jerk impulses in for a while. "May I ask what you are doing."
[01:25] <@Spiritcurse> "I'm having lunch!" she exclaims, before firing her hand into the river, impossibly fast. It comes back holding a fish, which flaps feebly before the girl rips into it with her teeth.
[01:27] "Well that's nice to know. May I ask where I am." Not bothered at all about the fish getting eaten raw. Hey when you get hungry you have to eat.
[01:28] <@Spiritcurse> "Well, that really depends on you, doesn't it?" she responds, before ripping the head off the fish and handing it to you. "Are you hungry? You look hungry."
[01:30] "No, thanks but thanks for the offer." He says with a smile. "So what do you mean it depends on me?"
[01:31] <@Spiritcurse> "Well, I didn't bring you here, did I? You brought yourself, and now you're here. See?" still, the girl addresses you without looking, and throws the head of the fish into the river. "Probably best. I don't like them either."
[01:33] "Me either, I hate how they seem t stare at you." He says before he begins to walk away. "Sorry to have bothered you." He says with a wave before he begins to walk off.
[01:34] <@Spiritcurse> "Not a problem, I'm sure we'll be meeting again" she replies, in her typically airy distant voice. The forest seems to be as you'd expect - trees and fallen logs litter the ground, and vines dangle down in front of you.
[01:36] <@Spiritcurse> After walking for a few minutes, you hear the crackling of a fire to your left. It sounds controlled and unnatural, betraying the presence of another occupant, hopefully one less strange.
[01:37] The mage begins walking towards the fire hoping for someone slightly more informative.
[01:38] <@Spiritcurse> You see a small camp set up - a man sits with his back to you on a log, toasting what looks to be a rabbit on a spit. His tent and bag lay to the side of him, and he seems dressed for hunting, with a bow slung on his back.
[01:39] "Hello kind sir. Would you be so kind to give directions to a lost traveller?"
[01:39] <@Spiritcurse> "I can help, but it's down to you to find your way. I can just show you the path."
[01:41] 'Must all of these people talk in riddles...' He thinks to himself at the man's response. "Well then may I be shown this path?"
[01:42] <@Spiritcurse> "Of course." Once again, this man addresses you with his face away from you. He stands and throws some powder at the fire, which bursts green before stabilising into a portal.
[01:42] The mage says nothing content to just stare intently on what the man is doing.
[01:44] <@Spiritcurse> The portal shimmers, before flashing a bright green once and showing you an image of the forest from above. You can see the camp, the fire and a large green orb standing out. The girl by the river has obtained quite a pile of skeletons by now, but it is a doorway that draws your attention, on the other side of the river to her. Oddly, the doorway is not part of a wall, and is free-standing.
[01:45] "And now I have a destination. Thank you for the assist." He says though he stays for a moment to see if the man will ask for something in return.
[01:45] <@Spiritcurse> As if reading your mind, he issues a request. "Just, don't hurt them. It's not their fault."
[01:46] "Don't hurt who?" He says confused.
[01:46] <@Spiritcurse> "You'll know when you see them. Just... stay safe. Maybe you'll be alright."
[01:48] "Okay... thanks." The mage says a bit confused before he starts to head towards the door.
[01:49] <@Spiritcurse> The man returns to his seat, and begins playing a peaceful tune on his pipe. You make good time back through the forest, and it feels like there are fewer things to trip over, fewer vines hitting your face.
[01:50] <@Spiritcurse> The girl has gone by the time you reach the door, leaving a trail of fish skeletons in her wake, some bones scattered on the floor in what looks to be a pattern.
[01:52] <@Spiritcurse> On a hunch, you summon a suit of shining blue plate armour, allowing it to tap into your magical reserves.
[01:54] <@Spiritcurse> The bones seems to spell out words in various tounges. You don't recognize many, but what little elven you recognize seems to say "NOT NOW". Odd - elven is rarely taught to the young, as the words can be tricky and magical.
[01:55] "Okay... not now... does this mean I have to do something before going forward?" He says confused. On one hand he wants to go forward and disregard the words but a lot of novices die because they don't heed warnings. And there was no way this mage was dying like so punk little novice.
[01:56] Slightly confused to what to do he does what he normally does, cast his favorite spell.
[01:57] <@Spiritcurse> You shield yourself from magical assault, and feel significantly safer. You feel a light pressure on your mind diminish.
[02:00] <@Spiritcurse> Peering through the mists of time, you see a remarkably clear vision. A woman, powerful, steeped in magic, beckons to a child, seemingly the one you met before. They nod and move closer, trembling with fear.
[02:01] <@Spiritcurse> The woman kisses the child on the forehead, then touches a finger to each of the child's eyes. You feel a scream in your mind, then the vision fades away.
[02:02] "Okay... that was wierd... Time to go find a certain little girl." He says before heading back to the river to see if he can get a clue on where she is.
[02:03] <@Spiritcurse> Judging from the footprints in the wet mud either side of the river, something with very small feet crossed, walking directly to the door, a few minutes ago.
[02:06] "Okay, the bones tell me not to go and now my only clue is somewhere at the door... where are my soilders... i need someone to stupidly run at the door..." He says with a sigh. "I'll take one last look around this place and see if I can find anything of importance."
[02:08] <@Spiritcurse> After a brief search reveals nothing, you decide to look at the bones again. Whether it's a new pattern or one you just didn't see before, you see "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" in the elven tongue. You also notice that the birds have stopped tweeting, the canopy seems closer to the ground, and the sun seems dimmer.
[02:14] "Well I've done all I can from here. Time to press my luck." He says before heading to the door.
[02:16] <@Spiritcurse> The door opens as you come closer. Through it is a dark stone passage, moss and vines crawling across all sides. Torches are set in regular alcoves, and you hear a faint moaning from ahead, one of pain.
[02:17] Checking to make sure he's ready he casts one last spell to strengthen his sword before he goes in.
[02:17] <@Spiritcurse> Your sword crackles with energy, but your armour fades to a dull blue. It doesn't look like it can hold more energy today.
[02:19] The mage frowns at his armor before giving it a look that promises it unending pain if it doesn't work. However since armor has no fear it doesn't magically spring back to life leaving the mage to have to go on with just a regular sapphire armor.
[02:20] <@Spiritcurse> The moans and wails increases in volume as you go forwards. Something's in here, and it's not happy at all.
[02:21] The mage stops for a moment to remember the words the man before told him before going on.
[02:22] <@Spiritcurse> Possibly as you expected, the door slams shut behind you.
[02:23] "Totally didn't see that coming." He says rolling his eyes before he continues forward using his energy enhanced blade to make the pathway brighter than what the torches provide.
[02:24] <@Spiritcurse> The added illumination shows blood on the ground, as well as a sickly black ichor that stains the corners of the corridor. The moaning grows even louder as you approach a corner - whatever's causing it is right around it, you reckon.
[02:26] "I wonder how Johnathan and that other mage are doing." He says thinking of more positive thoughts like how to next torment his pets, I mean soilders and how he's going to absolutely strangle that elf for not being a healer.
[02:26] With those happy thoughts he turns the corner.
[02:30] <@Spiritcurse> You come face to face with the child from before. Her teeth are filed to points, and her grin is impossibly wide. Her eyes are but pools of black, and more of the ichor drips from them. She emits a low hiss before leaping at you, hands raised in a mockery of claws!
[02:33] <@Spiritcurse> You create a wall of gemstones between you, which she manages to shatter, but her attack is stopped, and she falls to the floor, hissing and snarling.
[02:34] "So this is what he meant..." The mage says before pointing at her with his sword before the group beneath he begins to turn into copper.
[02:35] <@Spiritcurse> You fail to affect much, though some of the black goo takes on a sheen.
[02:35] <@Spiritcurse> The girl claws at you, drawing blood and knocking you to the ground. She snarls, obviously enjoying the bloodshed. "Helllllllp", she hisses.
[02:37] The mage gets up with a groan before attempting to turn the floor around her into copper again, hoping to get her stuck in it.
[02:39] <@Spiritcurse> Gaining fresh resolve, you recast your spell. This time, she slips a full two feet into the ground before becoming encased there. You casually step over her wildly flailing arms.
[02:44] As she flails wildly the mage's eyes go blank before they refocus a brown light surging through his eyes for a moment. "That was unexpected." He says before looking at the girl. "What do I do with you."
[02:45] <@Spiritcurse> "Free me- ARGH! Hisssss" she screams, before degenerating into incoherent hissing.
[02:45] The mage closes his eyes for a moment trying to look into the future for a guess on what to do.
[02:55] <@Spiritcurse> You see the regal woman again, sat on a throne, holding an eye. She gazes into it, satisfied, before throwing it into the air. Another child, similarly grotesque and mutated, leaps at it, snapping it from the air like a dog. The woman chuckles.
[02:55] <@Spiritcurse> You feel that she is close, only a few minutes walk ahead, then the vision ends.
[02:55] The mage looks at the girl one last time with a frown. "I'll try to help you as best I can." He says before renewing his armor.
[02:56] <@Spiritcurse> Your armour fuses back together, as good as new. The girl replies with a hiss.
[02:57] With that the mage of fate begins walking down his sword once again lighting the way as he heads towards the lady.
[02:59] <@Spiritcurse> You soon find yourself in a large room, a twisted tree forming a crude throne, upon which the lady reclines. Several of the mutant children hiss and approach you, but she silences them and sends them away. "So... who are you then, little one?"
[03:00] "My name is of no importance to you. Just know that I am a mage who's eyes can see throught the ever shifting hands of fate." He says to the lady ignoring the children to the best of his ability. "And who might you be?"
[03:01] <@Spiritcurse> "I, little mage, am Lady Irala, queen of this realm."
[03:04] "So this whole cavern is your realm?"
[03:04] <@Spiritcurse> "Oh, for now. But my children tell me that there's a whole world up there just waiting for me!"
[03:06] "Ya, too bad they don't want you up there. see we kind of like our kids normal and happy. Not screaming 'help me' while being forced to attack people."
[03:08] <@Spiritcurse> "Oh, but they are happy! They've got everything they want down here!"
[03:09] "Oh and what might those be?"
[03:09] <@Spiritcurse> "They've got their queen, their powers, and eternal life to play in this glade."
[03:11] "And what about the choice to do what they like? The choice to be free and live life they want? Do they really want to be here?"
[03:12] <@Spiritcurse> "If they didn't want to be here, they wouldn't have come. Why did you come, mage?"
[03:13] "I'm not sure. To be honest my reason for being here changes with everything that I learn though I do know what my reason for being here is right now."
[03:14] <@Spiritcurse> "And what would that be?"
[03:16] "Well see there's this girl that just attacked me that couldn't control herslef and yet was begging me to help her all the while. I may be a jerk who doesn't give a care what people think of feel but no matter how you look at it, that's not cool and that is not something I will stand for."
[03:17] <@Spiritcurse> "Oh, she's only partway through! Give her an hour, she'll be happy."
[03:19] "Well then may I ask how she will become happy? As in how exactly will it happen?"?
[03:19] <@Spiritcurse> "She'll learn to love the ichor, she'll beg for it to fill her veins, and when it does, she'll know true happiness like the rest of my children."
[03:21] "Well then, I have one last question though you'd probably never answer. How would one get rid of it."
[03:22] <@Spiritcurse> "Oh, you can't get rid of it! You'd kill my children if you did that!"
[03:27] "How so?"
[03:27] <@Spiritcurse> "Well, the ichor replaces their red! They scream an awful lot when you take their red out."
[03:29] "So the black ichor inside of them replaces their blood. That stands to reason giving them back their blood would return them to normal.. or at least help them gain some of their mind back." He says thoughtfully after a moment.
[03:30] <@Spiritcurse> "Oh, but where would you get that from?" she giggles, and only then do you realise the thin red trickles leading down her chin.
[03:31] The mage frowns for a bit before a smile comes to his face. "Well it seems like you have plenty of it to spare."
[03:32] <@Spiritcurse> "Now, why would I give you any? I think I'm more the taking kind."
[03:33] "I noticed. But after I get done with you, you might be feeling a bit more...generous."
[03:34] <@Spiritcurse> The queen giggles. "Oh, this is going to be fun!"
[03:35] "It seems like it will be." He says back to her.
[03:35] <@Spiritcurse> She giggles again, and stands. Blue gemstones form a flawless robe around her, form hugging yet flowing at the bottom.
[03:39] With that the mage walks up till he's almost an equal distance from her throne and the door he came through. Once he gets there he does a curtious bow. "May I have this 'dance'?" He says making it obvious what kind of dance this will be.
[03:40] <@Spiritcurse> The queen drops a curtsey, and her robe becomes flecked with strands of silver.
[03:42] Standing back up straight the mage gives one more smile before his face becomes serious. With a wave of his sword small spears of sapphire form and fly at her.
[03:43] <@Spiritcurse> She laughs and the spears shatter on a solid disc of broze, that she holds as a shield.
[03:47] <@Spiritcurse> You invoke a rune, which turns her shield a slightly lighter colour.
[03:48] <@Spiritcurse> Acid flies from her hands and forms a cloud above you. It looks like it's about to rain rather heavily.
[03:50] With a word a word a dome of sapphires comes around him to protect him from the acid rain and act as a shielding of sorts.
[03:52] <@Spiritcurse> The queen conjures the acid into mighty hammers, but they dissapate before hitting you.
[03:54] Protected from the acid hammers the mage points at the ground beneath his opponent willing it to change into copper.
[03:56] <@Spiritcurse> The ground changes into searing copper, causing the queen's smile to falter as she leaps back.
[03:57] <@Spiritcurse> With a howl of anger, she grabs an eye from a bowl by her throne, crushes it, and throws the powder before you. Two small golems rise from the ground, holding halberds ready to attack.
[03:58] The fate mage takes a step back before conjuring spears of sapphires to appear from the ground to implae the golems.
[03:59] <@Spiritcurse> One golem shatters under your onslaught, but the other dodges and slashes for you, denting your armour.
[04:00] <@Spiritcurse> The queen conjures a small gem, a jet glittering with a red light from within. Her smile freezes, she's clearly angry now.
[04:04] The mage tries to create a storm of sapphire spears to atatck the golem.
[04:04] <@Spiritcurse> The golem is impeded, but takes no real damage.
[04:05] <@Spiritcurse> The queen throws the gem at you, which explodes in a brilliant red flash. The golem is destroyed, along with half of your armour. You are badly burned, and barely able to stand.

Net time on WgW, the boss fight continues as I struggle to defeat the Wicked Queen Irala. Will I prevail or will I die horribly? and what is with the random man who knows all about what is happening? What purpose does he serve to the story? We might find out on the next session of WgW!!!

I guess I'll have to skype before I'll ever get to play this again.